April 2025

Holy Thursday~Keeping Watch

It’s the first day of Passover – the feast of unleavened bread. Jesus sends two of his disciples ahead to make preparation for their meal. In the Luke account, Jesus tells his disciples exactly what will happen as they go on their way. A place is found for them, and they take their places for this holy meal. Jesus says, “I have earnestly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer” (Luke 21:15). As we know, especially from the Luke texts (Luke 22:1-46) the disciples don’t understand at all what is coming. But let’s join them at this meal.

It was a night like so many others. They had come to Jerusalem so many times through the years (perhaps even with Jesus) to gather with their people to celebrate their freedom from slavery. Every part of this meal was chosen with care to remind them of their flight from Egypt. Imagine the talk around the table that night. Between the prayers, and the songs, they eat the bitter herbs, the matza, the charoset, and drink the wine. As they are eating, Jesus moves to kneel before his friends and begins to wash their feet (John 13:2-17). It is a vivid picture –

“He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist. ⁵ Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him.” (John 13:3-4)

It’s easy to understand that this was hard for the disciples to take. The master should not be the servant. It is they who should be washing the feet of Jesus. I think if I had been there, I would have felt embarrassed, almost ashamed in this incredibly intimate moment. To be honest, my thoughts would probably go to how dirty my feet are, how evident is this scar or how hard this callous is? I would be sympathetic to Peter’s objection – “you shall never wash my feet!” Jesus’ response? “If I do not wash you, you have no share in me” (John 13:8).

John’s account does not include Christ’s taking of the bread and the wine. But Luke’s does. ¹⁷ And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he said, “Take this, and divide it among yourselves. ¹⁸ For I tell you that from now on I will not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes.” ¹⁹ And he took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” ²⁰ And likewise the cup after they had eaten, saying, “This cup that is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood. (Luk 22:17-20 ESV)

He has already spoken of Judas’ betrayal. There has been talk again which of them will be the greatest in His kingdom. Jesus rebukes them, saying: “let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves. ²⁷ For who is the greater, one who reclines at table or one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am among you as the one who serves” (Luk 22:26-27 ESV). Whether they say it or not, they must have been thinking “this is crazy talk! This is so not what we expected!” And Jesus continues, by telling Peter, “before the night is out you will deny me three times.” What a night this has been! From the intimacy of their taking the Passover meal in that quiet upper room, to Jesus washing their feet, and then talk of betrayal and denial. Such contradiction! So many intense emotions! One author speaks of this contradiction like this:

“In Holy Thursday liturgy, we sense the beginning of a Eucharistic world and hear the clank of soldiers’ boots along a garden path at the same time.”¹

I can almost hear the scraping of their chairs on the floor as Jesus leads them out of the room to go to the garden (well, I know they’re not sitting in chairs – but that sound is such a reminder of the noise of leaving.) Before they go, they sing a hymn and follow Jesus.

We don’t often think of that walk. I have no idea how long a walk it is. But the minds of the disciples must have been racing with all this talk of betrayal and death. Did they pass others on the path? Did they speak to anyone? Did they speak to each other, of their confusion and worry? The garden they were seeking was on the western slopes of the Mount of Olives. Jesus led them to a place there, called Gethsemane, and he left them to go to pray. In the Matthew account, he tells Peter and James and John (the two sons of Zebedee) that he is troubled and very sad. “Remain here and watch with me.” He leaves them and then we see his anguish, his cry to His Father, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” (Mat 26:39 ESV) He returns to his disciples and finds them asleep. And he says to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour?” (Mat 26:40).

“Could you not watch with me for even one hour?” In those words, I recognized my own weakness, my own unwillingness to do hard things, my inability to, no, even my objections to stay in my anxieties or fears or even pain. In Mark’s account this is repeated two more times. As Peter later denies him three times here they have failed three times to stay and watch with Christ as he wrestles with his struggle to be obedient to His father. Luke’s account says on his return to his friends, “he found them sleeping for sorrow” (Luke 22:45). Did Jesus need them to stay awake? In some ways, I believe he did. He had spent years with these disciples, these friends and to share his struggle, his wrestling with the will of God had to be so important to him. But it was so much more than that. I believe at the heart of those words, “Could you not watch with me even one hour” was his desire that his friends would learn how to withstand their own suffering, their own fears and pain.

Falling asleep in the threat of pain is not an uncommon response to trauma. I’ve experienced it, I have seen this in others. When I know I need to be present to whatever the Lord is wanting me to face, it is so easy to yawn, or go take a nap. In Matthew’s account Jesus says this, ⁴¹ Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Mat 26:41 ESV)

“We fall asleep out of sorrow whenever we become so confused and overwhelmed by some kind of disappointment that we begin to act out of hostility rather than love, paranoia rather than trust, despair rather than hope. We fall asleep out of sorrow whenever we sell short what’s highest in us because of the bitterness of the moment.” ²

To keep watch means to stay present in the midst of the temptations to self-soothe, to disassociate, to check out. Jesus knows our hearts, he knows our capacity for fickleness, He calls us to wakefulness. He wants us to be aware of any part of us that shrinks back from His work in us in fear. Today, He calls us to name those things, to lay them at His feet and receive the help we so desperately need. There is a call in Jesus’ movements and prayers in the Garden for us who follow him to keep a spirit of wakefulness. He died to make us whole, and He lives to give us courage!

There is a virtue that can help us here. Paul called it long-suffering; Aquinas calls it longanimity, a virtue which “directs the soul towards a good for which we yearn, specifically a good that’s been a long time coming. So longanimity is a virtue for those who wait, it entails steadfastness in hopefully awaiting a long-delayed good.”³

These were the last words of Jesus to his friends before his arrest. This night has been such a cacophony of feelings! (feelings have sound right? Like the harsh sound of broken dishes?) From the intimacy of the shared meal, to having Jesus wash their feet, to these strange words about communion, to his warnings about betrayal and denial, and now to these finals words – “Could you not watch for even one hour?” Jesus has shown us He is and will always be with us – “washing our feet,” serving us, loving us even to the point of death.

In our watch and waiting this day – we can look toward the glorious vigil that is kept on Holy Saturday. I am not of a tradition which observes the Easter Vigil, (insert sad face) but I love the way our sorrow and grief from the last three days becomes the joy of a new dawn – a new day – a day of resurrection!

And in keeping with the observance of Passover, pray with me, this prayer from Easter Vigil…

O God, whose ancient wonders remain undimmed in splendor even in our day,
for what you once bestowed on a single people,
freeing them from Pharaoh’s persecution
by the power of your right hand,
now you bring about as the salvation of the nations
through the waters of rebirth,
grant, we pray, that the whole world
may become children of Abraham
and inherit the dignity of Israel’s birthright.
Through Christ our Lord.⁴

¹ Chittister, Joan. The Liturgical Year. Thomas Nelson, 2009. p. 135.
² Ron Rolheiser, https://ronrolheiser.com/the-agony-in-the-garden-the-place-to-stay-awake/
³ Teresa Smart, https://mcgrathblog.nd.edu/longanimity-the-virtue-of-waiting-for-god
⁴ From <http://pastoralliturgy.org/resources/1301OurStoryOfSalvation.php>

“Even the Stones”

Luke 9:51 – When the days drew near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem.

It is Luke’s account of the Triumphal Entry that I go back to more and more each year. It’s amazing how different (yet similar) the other accounts are. Matthew’s Jewishness is evident in his gospel and you can sense that in this account of Jesus entering Jerusalem. I love Mark because he’s just so minimal! Just the facts! Luke is such a grand storyteller and in his account of the Triumphal Entry this comes through so well! He writes of stones, and determination and weeping. I always think of John as the mystical poet who sees the big picture and who is highly relational.

What do we see in Luke’s account that doesn’t show up in the others?

He set his face toward Jerusalem

In the gospel of Luke there are five mentions of Christ’s intention to go to Jerusalem, beginning in chapter 9. He actually doesn’t enter Jerusalem until chapter 19:45. But here in chapter 9 we are told that “when the days draw near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem.” The language here for “set his face” describes Christ’s determination, “his steely resolve” to do His Father’s bidding. I believe it’s our call as well in this season of Lent to set our faces toward Holy Week.

Even the Stones – Luke 19:37-40

³⁷ As he was drawing near–already on the way down the Mount of Olives–the whole multitude of his disciples began to rejoice and praise God with a loud voice for all the mighty works that they had seen, ³⁸ saying, “Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!” ³⁹ And some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples.” ⁴⁰ He answered, “I tell you, if these were silent, the very stones would cry out.”

Jesus is saying – if true worship and a testimony to the truth of who I am do not come from my people the very stones will cry out. Worship is the highest and best response to the revelation of Christ as King, as Lord. It is the response not only of God’s people, but of all creation!

Shout for joy to God, all the earth; ² sing the glory of his name; give to him glorious praise! ³ Say to God, “How awesome are your deeds! So great is your power that your enemies come cringing to you. ⁴ All the earth worships you and sings praises to you; they sing praises to your name.” Selah ⁵ Come and see what God has done: he is awesome in his deeds toward the children of man. (Psa 66:1-5 ESV)

Do you reckon the psalmist means stones as well?

Jesus weeps over Jerusalem –

Luke 19:41-44 ⁴¹ And when he drew near and saw the city, he wept over it, ⁴² saying, “Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes. ⁴³ For the days will come upon you, when your enemies will set up a barricade around you and surround you and hem you in on every side ⁴⁴ and tear you down to the ground, you and your children within you. And they will not leave one stone upon another in you, because you did not know the time of your visitation.”

This is a side of Jesus rarely seen. In John’s account Jesus wept when he saw the anguish of Mary and the other Jews with her, mourning Lazarus’ death. “He was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled.” (John 11:33). I think Jesus stands on the hill overlooking Jerusalem and sees the week ahead. He will see the abandonment of his friends, he will see the mockery of the soldiers, he will listen to the cry – “Crucify Him!” and he will look for and find so little faith. But this is why He came.

Palm Sunday comes every year – and I often wonder if we enter into it with as much attention as it deserves. It’s the introduction – not the finale. It is joyous but ominous as well. And so I’ve wondered – how do we keep faith with it?

How do we keep faith with Palm Sunday?

We worship the King. The title “King” highlights Jesus’ divine authority, his role in redemption, and his eventual return to rule over all creation. Christ was hailed as King on his journey into Jerusalem, but on Friday the title becomes a mockery when the Roman soldiers strip his clothes from him, put a scarlet robe on him and a crown of thorns on his head. They taunted him calling him, “king of the Jews.” (Mat. 27:27-30)

At the end of time, when He returns we see his title worn across his body as John describes him in Revelation – “On his robe and on his thigh he has a name written, King of kings and Lord of lords” (Rev 19:16 ESV). Our worship of Him will for all of eternity proclaim him as King, the conquering victorious King. We will, alongside Paul cry out: Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen. (1Ti 1:17 NIV)

We keep faith with Palm Sunday when we worship the true King. The one who went fearlessly to the cross, who died for all men, who rose from the dead, and who ascended into heaven, taking us with him. Worthy is the King!

We keep faith with Palm Sunday when we receive Him as the meek serving Lamb of God. The King on Sunday came in on a donkey – a work animal, who came not with earthly power, to re-assert an earthly kingdom but who (in great authority none the less) came to claim back His people for His Father’s glory…He was a king like no other. Every devoted Jew expected the Messiah to come and rebuild Jerusalem and the temple. He was supposed to be an earthly king – with soldiers and armies at his bidding…yet Jesus came into Jerusalem not with rings, robes or crown. He came riding in on the back of a lowly donkey – a work horse, a symbol of humility and peace. We hear the voice of the prophet Zechariah chapter 9 – “Rejoice! Daughter of Zion. Shout! Daughter of Jerusalem! A righteous king, who brings salvation, is coming. He is humble and rides a donkey or even a young donkey.“

Most Jews believed that their Messiah would be a man who with political power would take over Roman rule and restore Israel to its rightful place in the world. But Jesus had another kingdom in mind.

Heaven is the kingdom of eternal life, the kingdom of truth, goodness and beauty. Heaven is the total spiritual transformation of human life; heaven is the kingdom of God, victory over death, the triumph of love and care; heaven is the fulfillment of that ultimate desire, about which it was said: “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor has it entered into the heart of man, what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Corinthians 2:9). ¹

The way he rode that day, the way he welcomed the crowd’s worship, the way he came in humility and meekness tells us so much about the kingdom of God. It tells us that we worship both the lion and the lamb. There is such irony here -for He is the Lion-King, coming into Jerusalem with such authority – an authority we see at work when he enters the temple overturning tables.. (Luke 19:45-46). This is the King who will reign for all eternity. Like Aslan from Narnia – he is terrifying yet also good. “Aslan is a lion- the Lion, the great Lion.” “Ooh” said Susan. “I’d thought he was a man. Is he quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion”…”Safe?” said Mr. Beaver …”Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”²

And yet, on Friday He is the Lamb. “²⁹ The next day he saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world! (Joh 1:29 ESV) It is the Lamb we see in Revelation 5:12-13 ¹² saying with a loud voice, “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!” ¹³ And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, ‘To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!’” (ESV)

Healing vanquishes illness and creates health. Yet it does not vanquish the power of death. But salvation in its full and completed form is the annihilation of the power of death and the raising of man and woman to eternal life. In this wider sense of salvation…people are healed not through Jesus’ miracles, but through Jesus’ wounds; that is, they are gathered into the indestructible love of God.³

We keep faith with Palm Sunday when we worship Christ as the Lamb of God who was sacrificed for us and who will be there at the end of time – “then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb” (Rev. 2:1).

Finally, we keep faith with Palm Sunday when we begin to truly love His people.

Jesus wept over Jerusalem because there was no faith there, once a city of beautiful faith, now a city that is barren and unbelieving. So many “righteous” people, so many “teachers” of the Holy Scriptures… So many hypocrites. And so little faith.

What does it mean to have our hearts broken over what breaks the heart of God? What does it take to unsettle us? I’m not talking about feeling guilty – I’m talking about having the strength of resolve it takes to shake up my life so that I will see that the harvest is ripe? How do we cultivate a love like His? I was challenged today with this very thing. We have a young man in our lives who has come and gone a lot. He has lived on his own for many years and has kept a simple and good spirit about him. He believes in God. But he is needy. And the last thing I want right now is a needy person. He’s presently homeless and is sleeping in his car. Nate has offered to let him stay with us for a few days. Of course, he asked my permission – and I simply said, I don’t know if I can do it. But then my own words came back to haunt me – Am I willing to have my heart broken over what breaks the heart of Jesus? And so, I was called. I’m not naïve about the challenges and it wasn’t guilt that motivated me in the end. It was simply – can I weep for those for whom Christ weeps? Can I keep faith with Palm Sunday by opening my home to a stranger?

We worship the King; we welcome the Lamb, and we love as He loved. This is the worship of a people who keep faith with Palm Sunday.

1 Alexander Schmemann, source not known.

2 Lewis, C. S.. The Chronicles of Narnia : The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. New York: Harper Collins Publisher, 1978. Text.

3. Thomas Long, What Shall We Say: Evil, Suffering and the Crisis of Faith. Grand Rapids: Wm B. Eerdmans, 2011. loc. 1743

Holy Week Reflections: The Journey of Repentance

Return to the Lord Your God with All Your Heart – With Jesus, we set our face toward Jerusalem. We make our pilgrimage with Him by the way of repentance, and thus, return to the dying and rising of Holy Baptism.¹

In the gospel of Luke there are five mentions of Christ’s intention to go to Jerusalem. In Luke 9:51 we are told that “when the days draw near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem.” The language here for “set his face” describes Christ’s determination, “his steely resolve” to do His Father’s bidding. I believe it’s our call as well in this season of Lent to set our faces toward Holy Week.

I’m mindful of the significance of entering fully into all that this week holds. As I read the different gospel accounts of Holy Week I confess a preference for Luke’s gospel account. He is such a grand storyteller and how he leads us into this time is particularly profound. As I have been studying this week I’ve also been struck by the range of emotions we see in Jesus.– His sorrow over Jerusalem (Luke 19:41), His wrath in the temple (Luke 19:45), His grief in the garden (Luke 22:45-46), and His joy in the cross (Heb. 12:2).

I think it’s fitting for us, on the eve of Palm Sunday, to do the work of the prayer of examen. (If you want the specifics of the prayer of examen or confessional prayer, I did include the link in my last post, but you can also click here: https://hamewith.org/2023/12/confessional-prayer/)

Let’s find a quiet place and begin to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to us those sins, habits or attitudes that need to be forgiven. I think we cannot (or should not) do this work on our own. That would probably put us in jeopardy of either minimizing our sin or keeping us bound in unhealthy guilt or shame. The apostle Paul can help us here -in Col. 3:5-10 he is thorough in describing those sins we were called to put to death in our baptisms. (But I would also recommend finding a trusted friend or pastor to be with you in your confession).

It is the work of the Holy Spirit that we need as we come to confession of sin. We need Him to reveal Christ to us; we need Him to show us our hearts; we need Him to awaken in us a holy contrition, and sorrow over our sins and our forgetfulness.

So, as we come to this prayer, we cry out – Show us Christ, Lord, show us the Father’s love. Let gratitude rise in our hearts in this holy time for all that You, and the Father and the Son have done in our hearts and lives… We remember Your goodness, Your provision for us, Your great faithfulness. We come to this confession as the psalmist did in Psalm 139:23 -24, “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Test me and know my thoughts! See if there is any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting!”

We don’t need to make a ruthless inventory of sins – but we do need to be as specific as we can. Use your prayer journal to do this, or even better do what I suggested earlier: find someone who can be a witness to your confession. As we name them, and confess them we can pray – “Lord, I repent. I turn from this sin.” Alexander Schmemann in writing about repentance says that “repentance as regret, as a desire to return, and a surrender to God’s love and mercy… “is a gift to every Christian. He goes on, “repentance is the shock of man, seeing in himself the ‘image of the ineffable glory,’ [and] realizes that he has defiled, betrayed and rejected it [as bearers of the image of God] in his life.” ² This sort of contrition and compunction is a gift of the Holy Spirit as we yield our sins up to Christ.

We then go on to ask the Spirit to search our hearts to reveal to us the roots of those sins. If I confess the sin of gossiping about someone I need to see what is at the heart of that sin. Is it envy? Bitterness? Scorn? These too Paul addresses in Colossians 3.

After our confession of sin, we must go on to receive God’s forgiveness in Christ. This is a critical part of our confession. We leave our sins at the cross and take deep into our hearts the grace and mercy of God. “Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?” (Rom 6:3)

“The power of sin to rule [our] lives has been destroyed in the cross of Christ: we have died with Christ and have been raised up together with him in newness of life.” (Richard Lovelace)

“Therefore, we are not to set the estimates of our power to conquer sin according to past experiences of our will power but are to fix our attention on Christ and the power of his risen life in which we participate: for we have died, and our life is now hidden with Christ in God.”³

This is the work of every believer. This is the work of love. Confession of sin deepens not only our love for God but for ourselves and others too. Truly confessing and repenting has a way of uniting us with the Body of Christ. Today is the Day of the Lord. Today he calls us to set our eyes on Jerusalem. Begin this journey by bringing your sins, regrets and forgetfulness to Christ. Let this week be a new day for you – a call to once again live out your baptismal identity. We were dead in our sins, and Christ brought us back from death into life. Thanks be to God!

¹ http://www.stpaullutheranchurchhamel.org/ashwednesday.html>

² Alexander Schmemann, Great Lent: Journey to Pascha (St Valdimir’s Seminary Press, 1969), 65.

³ Richard Lovelace, Dynamics of Spiritual Life: An Evangelical Theology of Renewal (Inter-Varsity Press), 115.