Into Our Bones

Holy Thursday~Keeping Watch

It’s the first day of Passover – the feast of unleavened bread. Jesus sends two of his disciples ahead to make preparation for their meal. In the Luke account, Jesus tells his disciples exactly what will happen as they go on their way. A place is found for them, and they take their places for this holy meal. Jesus says, “I have earnestly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer” (Luke 21:15). As we know, especially from the Luke texts (Luke 22:1-46) the disciples don’t understand at all what is coming. But let’s join them at this meal.

It was a night like so many others. They had come to Jerusalem so many times through the years (perhaps even with Jesus) to gather with their people to celebrate their freedom from slavery. Every part of this meal was chosen with care to remind them of their flight from Egypt. Imagine the talk around the table that night. Between the prayers, and the songs, they eat the bitter herbs, the matza, the charoset, and drink the wine. As they are eating, Jesus moves to kneel before his friends and begins to wash their feet (John 13:2-17). It is a vivid picture –

“He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist. ⁵ Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him.” (John 13:3-4)

It’s easy to understand that this was hard for the disciples to take. The master should not be the servant. It is they who should be washing the feet of Jesus. I think if I had been there, I would have felt embarrassed, almost ashamed in this incredibly intimate moment. To be honest, my thoughts would probably go to how dirty my feet are, how evident is this scar or how hard this callous is? I would be sympathetic to Peter’s objection – “you shall never wash my feet!” Jesus’ response? “If I do not wash you, you have no share in me” (John 13:8).

John’s account does not include Christ’s taking of the bread and the wine. But Luke’s does. ¹⁷ And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he said, “Take this, and divide it among yourselves. ¹⁸ For I tell you that from now on I will not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes.” ¹⁹ And he took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” ²⁰ And likewise the cup after they had eaten, saying, “This cup that is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood. (Luk 22:17-20 ESV)

He has already spoken of Judas’ betrayal. There has been talk again which of them will be the greatest in His kingdom. Jesus rebukes them, saying: “let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves. ²⁷ For who is the greater, one who reclines at table or one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am among you as the one who serves” (Luk 22:26-27 ESV). Whether they say it or not, they must have been thinking “this is crazy talk! This is so not what we expected!” And Jesus continues, by telling Peter, “before the night is out you will deny me three times.” What a night this has been! From the intimacy of their taking the Passover meal in that quiet upper room, to Jesus washing their feet, and then talk of betrayal and denial. Such contradiction! So many intense emotions! One author speaks of this contradiction like this:

“In Holy Thursday liturgy, we sense the beginning of a Eucharistic world and hear the clank of soldiers’ boots along a garden path at the same time.”¹

I can almost hear the scraping of their chairs on the floor as Jesus leads them out of the room to go to the garden (well, I know they’re not sitting in chairs – but that sound is such a reminder of the noise of leaving.) Before they go, they sing a hymn and follow Jesus.

We don’t often think of that walk. I have no idea how long a walk it is. But the minds of the disciples must have been racing with all this talk of betrayal and death. Did they pass others on the path? Did they speak to anyone? Did they speak to each other, of their confusion and worry? The garden they were seeking was on the western slopes of the Mount of Olives. Jesus led them to a place there, called Gethsemane, and he left them to go to pray. In the Matthew account, he tells Peter and James and John (the two sons of Zebedee) that he is troubled and very sad. “Remain here and watch with me.” He leaves them and then we see his anguish, his cry to His Father, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” (Mat 26:39 ESV) He returns to his disciples and finds them asleep. And he says to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour?” (Mat 26:40).

“Could you not watch with me for even one hour?” In those words, I recognized my own weakness, my own unwillingness to do hard things, my inability to, no, even my objections to stay in my anxieties or fears or even pain. In Mark’s account this is repeated two more times. As Peter later denies him three times here they have failed three times to stay and watch with Christ as he wrestles with his struggle to be obedient to His father. Luke’s account says on his return to his friends, “he found them sleeping for sorrow” (Luke 22:45). Did Jesus need them to stay awake? In some ways, I believe he did. He had spent years with these disciples, these friends and to share his struggle, his wrestling with the will of God had to be so important to him. But it was so much more than that. I believe at the heart of those words, “Could you not watch with me even one hour” was his desire that his friends would learn how to withstand their own suffering, their own fears and pain.

Falling asleep in the threat of pain is not an uncommon response to trauma. I’ve experienced it, I have seen this in others. When I know I need to be present to whatever the Lord is wanting me to face, it is so easy to yawn, or go take a nap. In Matthew’s account Jesus says this, ⁴¹ Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Mat 26:41 ESV)

“We fall asleep out of sorrow whenever we become so confused and overwhelmed by some kind of disappointment that we begin to act out of hostility rather than love, paranoia rather than trust, despair rather than hope. We fall asleep out of sorrow whenever we sell short what’s highest in us because of the bitterness of the moment.” ²

To keep watch means to stay present in the midst of the temptations to self-soothe, to disassociate, to check out. Jesus knows our hearts, he knows our capacity for fickleness, He calls us to wakefulness. He wants us to be aware of any part of us that shrinks back from His work in us in fear. Today, He calls us to name those things, to lay them at His feet and receive the help we so desperately need. There is a call in Jesus’ movements and prayers in the Garden for us who follow him to keep a spirit of wakefulness. He died to make us whole, and He lives to give us courage!

There is a virtue that can help us here. Paul called it long-suffering; Aquinas calls it longanimity, a virtue which “directs the soul towards a good for which we yearn, specifically a good that’s been a long time coming. So longanimity is a virtue for those who wait, it entails steadfastness in hopefully awaiting a long-delayed good.”³

These were the last words of Jesus to his friends before his arrest. This night has been such a cacophony of feelings! (feelings have sound right? Like the harsh sound of broken dishes?) From the intimacy of the shared meal, to having Jesus wash their feet, to these strange words about communion, to his warnings about betrayal and denial, and now to these finals words – “Could you not watch for even one hour?” Jesus has shown us He is and will always be with us – “washing our feet,” serving us, loving us even to the point of death.

In our watch and waiting this day – we can look toward the glorious vigil that is kept on Holy Saturday. I am not of a tradition which observes the Easter Vigil, (insert sad face) but I love the way our sorrow and grief from the last three days becomes the joy of a new dawn – a new day – a day of resurrection!

And in keeping with the observance of Passover, pray with me, this prayer from Easter Vigil…

O God, whose ancient wonders remain undimmed in splendor even in our day,
for what you once bestowed on a single people,
freeing them from Pharaoh’s persecution
by the power of your right hand,
now you bring about as the salvation of the nations
through the waters of rebirth,
grant, we pray, that the whole world
may become children of Abraham
and inherit the dignity of Israel’s birthright.
Through Christ our Lord.⁴

¹ Chittister, Joan. The Liturgical Year. Thomas Nelson, 2009. p. 135.
² Ron Rolheiser, https://ronrolheiser.com/the-agony-in-the-garden-the-place-to-stay-awake/
³ Teresa Smart, https://mcgrathblog.nd.edu/longanimity-the-virtue-of-waiting-for-god
⁴ From <http://pastoralliturgy.org/resources/1301OurStoryOfSalvation.php>

“Even the Stones”

Luke 9:51 – When the days drew near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem.

It is Luke’s account of the Triumphal Entry that I go back to more and more each year. It’s amazing how different (yet similar) the other accounts are. Matthew’s Jewishness is evident in his gospel and you can sense that in this account of Jesus entering Jerusalem. I love Mark because he’s just so minimal! Just the facts! Luke is such a grand storyteller and in his account of the Triumphal Entry this comes through so well! He writes of stones, and determination and weeping. I always think of John as the mystical poet who sees the big picture and who is highly relational.

What do we see in Luke’s account that doesn’t show up in the others?

He set his face toward Jerusalem

In the gospel of Luke there are five mentions of Christ’s intention to go to Jerusalem, beginning in chapter 9. He actually doesn’t enter Jerusalem until chapter 19:45. But here in chapter 9 we are told that “when the days draw near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem.” The language here for “set his face” describes Christ’s determination, “his steely resolve” to do His Father’s bidding. I believe it’s our call as well in this season of Lent to set our faces toward Holy Week.

Even the Stones – Luke 19:37-40

³⁷ As he was drawing near–already on the way down the Mount of Olives–the whole multitude of his disciples began to rejoice and praise God with a loud voice for all the mighty works that they had seen, ³⁸ saying, “Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!” ³⁹ And some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples.” ⁴⁰ He answered, “I tell you, if these were silent, the very stones would cry out.”

Jesus is saying – if true worship and a testimony to the truth of who I am do not come from my people the very stones will cry out. Worship is the highest and best response to the revelation of Christ as King, as Lord. It is the response not only of God’s people, but of all creation!

Shout for joy to God, all the earth; ² sing the glory of his name; give to him glorious praise! ³ Say to God, “How awesome are your deeds! So great is your power that your enemies come cringing to you. ⁴ All the earth worships you and sings praises to you; they sing praises to your name.” Selah ⁵ Come and see what God has done: he is awesome in his deeds toward the children of man. (Psa 66:1-5 ESV)

Do you reckon the psalmist means stones as well?

Jesus weeps over Jerusalem –

Luke 19:41-44 ⁴¹ And when he drew near and saw the city, he wept over it, ⁴² saying, “Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes. ⁴³ For the days will come upon you, when your enemies will set up a barricade around you and surround you and hem you in on every side ⁴⁴ and tear you down to the ground, you and your children within you. And they will not leave one stone upon another in you, because you did not know the time of your visitation.”

This is a side of Jesus rarely seen. In John’s account Jesus wept when he saw the anguish of Mary and the other Jews with her, mourning Lazarus’ death. “He was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled.” (John 11:33). I think Jesus stands on the hill overlooking Jerusalem and sees the week ahead. He will see the abandonment of his friends, he will see the mockery of the soldiers, he will listen to the cry – “Crucify Him!” and he will look for and find so little faith. But this is why He came.

Palm Sunday comes every year – and I often wonder if we enter into it with as much attention as it deserves. It’s the introduction – not the finale. It is joyous but ominous as well. And so I’ve wondered – how do we keep faith with it?

How do we keep faith with Palm Sunday?

We worship the King. The title “King” highlights Jesus’ divine authority, his role in redemption, and his eventual return to rule over all creation. Christ was hailed as King on his journey into Jerusalem, but on Friday the title becomes a mockery when the Roman soldiers strip his clothes from him, put a scarlet robe on him and a crown of thorns on his head. They taunted him calling him, “king of the Jews.” (Mat. 27:27-30)

At the end of time, when He returns we see his title worn across his body as John describes him in Revelation – “On his robe and on his thigh he has a name written, King of kings and Lord of lords” (Rev 19:16 ESV). Our worship of Him will for all of eternity proclaim him as King, the conquering victorious King. We will, alongside Paul cry out: Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen. (1Ti 1:17 NIV)

We keep faith with Palm Sunday when we worship the true King. The one who went fearlessly to the cross, who died for all men, who rose from the dead, and who ascended into heaven, taking us with him. Worthy is the King!

We keep faith with Palm Sunday when we receive Him as the meek serving Lamb of God. The King on Sunday came in on a donkey – a work animal, who came not with earthly power, to re-assert an earthly kingdom but who (in great authority none the less) came to claim back His people for His Father’s glory…He was a king like no other. Every devoted Jew expected the Messiah to come and rebuild Jerusalem and the temple. He was supposed to be an earthly king – with soldiers and armies at his bidding…yet Jesus came into Jerusalem not with rings, robes or crown. He came riding in on the back of a lowly donkey – a work horse, a symbol of humility and peace. We hear the voice of the prophet Zechariah chapter 9 – “Rejoice! Daughter of Zion. Shout! Daughter of Jerusalem! A righteous king, who brings salvation, is coming. He is humble and rides a donkey or even a young donkey.“

Most Jews believed that their Messiah would be a man who with political power would take over Roman rule and restore Israel to its rightful place in the world. But Jesus had another kingdom in mind.

Heaven is the kingdom of eternal life, the kingdom of truth, goodness and beauty. Heaven is the total spiritual transformation of human life; heaven is the kingdom of God, victory over death, the triumph of love and care; heaven is the fulfillment of that ultimate desire, about which it was said: “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor has it entered into the heart of man, what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Corinthians 2:9). ¹

The way he rode that day, the way he welcomed the crowd’s worship, the way he came in humility and meekness tells us so much about the kingdom of God. It tells us that we worship both the lion and the lamb. There is such irony here -for He is the Lion-King, coming into Jerusalem with such authority – an authority we see at work when he enters the temple overturning tables.. (Luke 19:45-46). This is the King who will reign for all eternity. Like Aslan from Narnia – he is terrifying yet also good. “Aslan is a lion- the Lion, the great Lion.” “Ooh” said Susan. “I’d thought he was a man. Is he quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion”…”Safe?” said Mr. Beaver …”Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”²

And yet, on Friday He is the Lamb. “²⁹ The next day he saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world! (Joh 1:29 ESV) It is the Lamb we see in Revelation 5:12-13 ¹² saying with a loud voice, “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!” ¹³ And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, ‘To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!’” (ESV)

Healing vanquishes illness and creates health. Yet it does not vanquish the power of death. But salvation in its full and completed form is the annihilation of the power of death and the raising of man and woman to eternal life. In this wider sense of salvation…people are healed not through Jesus’ miracles, but through Jesus’ wounds; that is, they are gathered into the indestructible love of God.³

We keep faith with Palm Sunday when we worship Christ as the Lamb of God who was sacrificed for us and who will be there at the end of time – “then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb” (Rev. 2:1).

Finally, we keep faith with Palm Sunday when we begin to truly love His people.

Jesus wept over Jerusalem because there was no faith there, once a city of beautiful faith, now a city that is barren and unbelieving. So many “righteous” people, so many “teachers” of the Holy Scriptures… So many hypocrites. And so little faith.

What does it mean to have our hearts broken over what breaks the heart of God? What does it take to unsettle us? I’m not talking about feeling guilty – I’m talking about having the strength of resolve it takes to shake up my life so that I will see that the harvest is ripe? How do we cultivate a love like His? I was challenged today with this very thing. We have a young man in our lives who has come and gone a lot. He has lived on his own for many years and has kept a simple and good spirit about him. He believes in God. But he is needy. And the last thing I want right now is a needy person. He’s presently homeless and is sleeping in his car. Nate has offered to let him stay with us for a few days. Of course, he asked my permission – and I simply said, I don’t know if I can do it. But then my own words came back to haunt me – Am I willing to have my heart broken over what breaks the heart of Jesus? And so, I was called. I’m not naïve about the challenges and it wasn’t guilt that motivated me in the end. It was simply – can I weep for those for whom Christ weeps? Can I keep faith with Palm Sunday by opening my home to a stranger?

We worship the King; we welcome the Lamb, and we love as He loved. This is the worship of a people who keep faith with Palm Sunday.

1 Alexander Schmemann, source not known.

2 Lewis, C. S.. The Chronicles of Narnia : The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. New York: Harper Collins Publisher, 1978. Text.

3. Thomas Long, What Shall We Say: Evil, Suffering and the Crisis of Faith. Grand Rapids: Wm B. Eerdmans, 2011. loc. 1743

Rule of Life 2025

Happy New Year! I begin this year with what became a significant part of my formation in Christ over the last few years. As the title suggests, this practice is called a “rule of life”. Many people find choosing one word for the year helpful, others choose practices or resolutions. This idea of a rule of life is ancient going back to monasteries and convents early in the life of the church. In recent years this practice has become for many an alternative to the typical New Year’s resolutions. If you want to see what’s out there on this subject, google it and you will find several sites and/or books on this. I wrote on this practice in January 2024 and have included a link to that post.

https://hamewith.org/2024/01/rule-of-life

Personally, it has been a rich encounter in prayer and dialogue with God and others. I am not good at setting what seem to be unrealistic goals or resolutions that by the end of January I am discouraged and end up setting the rules aside. I believe there is an actual name for that – called Quitters Day and it happens on the second Friday in January! The rule of life is a marker or signpost that takes me deeper into my Christian formation. Below are some very significant markers for me. Yours might be very different than these. But I encourage you to take this season and prayerfully consider where God might be leading you on this part of your journey.

Baptism

…that [I] may remain faithful to my baptism, living by it, making it always the source and the power of his life, a constant judgment, criterion, inspiration, “rule of life.”1

Photo by Ante Hamersmit on Unsplash

St Patrick’s Breastplate

I bind unto myself today
The strong name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same,
The Three in One, and One in Three.

I bind this day to me forever,
By power of faith, Christ’s incarnation, (Christ with us and in us)
His baptism in the Jordan river, (his identification with us)
His death on the cross for my salvation; (forgiveness of sin)
His bursting from the spiced tomb; (new life)
His riding up the heavenly way; (taking us with him into heaven)
His coming at the day of doom; (his glorious return)
I bind unto myself today.

Calling

My calling in this season of life is to share the wisdom God has carved out of me (carved into me) through His sanctifying work – whether in joy or sorrow, suffering or peace, absence or presence.

By identifying my calling in this season of life, I believe it provides a great signpost not only to my intentions but to the decisions I will make about how I spend my time, and my resources.

I have wavered on this calling so many times just in the last few years and have often believed I should stop doing something that’s so hard and makes me feel vulnerable. I had prayed about this many times and after a time of prayer with some very encouraging friends I went back to the Lord and this is what I heard in response to my cry! I will say, that I was very unsure about including this, because it is so personal and I feel very vulnerable sharing it. But I do so as an encouragement that God does speak to us when we have doubts or feel shame about what He is calling us to do.

Little one, I am not asking you to be special or profound – but to look at your life – all the crooked ways made straight by My grace and power. Dig deep and there you will find living water. Even the scent of water is enough to share. I am not asking you to share what I have done in someone else’s life. It’s your story that you’ve been given to share. Word from 10/29/23.

Prayer

(from last year’s post on rule of life, which I still find meaningful today.)

Give me a grace that precedes, follows, guides,
sustains, sanctifies, aids every hour,
that I may not be one moment apart from thee,
but may rely on thy Spirit to supply every thought,
speak in every word, direct every step,
prosper every work, build up every mote of faith,
and give me a desire to show forth thy praise;
testify thy love, advance thy kingdom.
I launch my bark on the unknown waters of this year, with
thee, O Father, as my harbor,
thee, O Son, at my helm,
thee, O Holy Spirit, filling my sails.

The Valley of Vision (a compilation of Puritan Prayers), Arthur Bennett.

My rule of life came out of dialogue not only with God, but also out of dialogue with my own soul and what I needed most. And if these things I’ve included in my rule of life are meant to characterize my life I must find ways that help me live that out. I’m allergic to the word resolutions (especially this time of year!) but they can help engage our wills as we seek to live out our desires. While I haven’t specifically included this in my rule of life, I have been convicted about how I love (more specifically how I don’t love) others in the holy and honorable way they deserve to be loved. For a talk I gave several years ago I put together a set of life together resolutions – and I realize how much that can help move me from “I would like to love better,” to actually finding concrete and specific ways to do so.

This will take you to the post on “life together resolutions.” https://hamewith.org/2025/01/life-together-resolutions/

When I take Schmemann’s statement on baptism to heart, I hope it’s clear that I am not literally referring to my own baptism. Even though I was an adult, I have no clear memories of that time. That saddens me. I had only been a Christian a short time and it happened in a lake on my college campus. But our baptisms, (remembered or not!) picture so completely our formation in Christ.

Living out our baptisms was the way Leanne Payne talked about wholeness in Christ. It means as Peter says in 1 Peter 2:24 – “He himself bore our sins on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness.” Each day I believe we have the opportunity to die to self and sin, confess it, receive His forgiveness and grace and rise up as one who has been given the fullness of life! We know as Paul said in Galatians 2:20 – “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. The inexorable hope of glory!

This version of St Patrick’s Breastplate is meaningful to me because it tracks the whole life of Christ and thus the whole life of the church as we live out the significant acts of His life. “I bind…” – I don’t just affirm, I don’t just agree… I take this truth to heart. The image I have is of Odysseus tying himself to the mast of the ship that he might not yield to the temptation of the sirens.

When we mark and honor all that happened in the life of Christ every aspect becomes a part of our daily confession. For those who follow the Orthodox tradition , “the focus is on a Person (Christ) and the life He lived – the arc of Christ’s life beginning with his taking on human nature, his birth, his growing up, his ministry and his teachings, his death on the Cross, his third day resurrection, his ascension into heaven, his sending the Holy Spirit, and his glorious Second Coming. ” ¹

So, as often as I pray this version of this part of St Patrick’s prayer – I can see myself – tying myself to the mast of Christ’s work on my behalf – all of it. As I do that, in much the same way it helped Odysseus, I am strengthened to face the temptations and trials of this life.

Lastly, as I regularly review my rule of life in prayer – I am made more aware of my need to find spiritual practices that give me “boots on the ground.” I must align what I do with what I feel God calling me to do. So it impacts how I spend my time, my resources, my body, mind, soul and spirit! But how well I engage with the spiritual practices I feel called to is not the goal -simply part of the means to living out what God has led me to in my rule of life. Some of those practices include confession of sin (I have two lovely partners who help me with this!), lectio divina (sacred reading), study of the Scriptures, and of course prayer. There are other practices I might be called to in particularly difficult times.

I’ll end with what I wrote at the end of the post on rule of life that I wrote in January of last year.

May it start in us through the song God has sung over us through all our days. May it spring from a place of hunger, and a desire for transformation that can only result in our becoming like Him. May we be resolute in casting off any hindrance, any sin, any relationship that inhibits His sanctifying work in us. May we live out our baptisms every day. From the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep may we remember to take our place in His death and in His resurrection – through prayer, through confession, through practicing His presence, through virtue, and through love.

1 Alexander Schmemann, Of Water and the Spirit.
2 Robert Arakaki https://orthodoxbridge.com/2014/03/11/taking-the-incarnation-seriously
Feature image – Photo by Reuben Hustler on Unsplash

Life Together Resolutions

· I shall marvel at and cultivate the work of the Holy Spirit in my own life, while forbearing the flaws, faults or problems in my neighbor’s life.

· As much as I am able, I shall be quick to forgive, acknowledging that I too have great need for forgiveness.

· I shall honor the Holy Spirit’s activity in my neighbor’s life even when it doesn’t seem evident!

· I shall seek to keep the unity of the Spirit in humility and love, by refusing to slander or gossip about my neighbor.

· I shall seek to acknowledge my wrongdoings and sins against others and ask often for forgiveness.

· I shall acknowledge that each one of us is fearfully and wonderfully made and delight in all the ways we are different.

· As much as it is up to me, I shall guard the unity of the Church and work hard to protect her reputation.

Prayer of Confession – Week Two Advent 2024

This week as we honor the gift of peace we have received through Christ’s birth, it might be good to take some time to look at what hinders that indwelling peace. I think we might agree that anxiety in our culture has reached an epidemic level. Two verses from the New Testament, I believe, help us turn to the One who gives us the peace that brings wholeness and well-being.

Paul in Romans 8:15 – “For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba, Father!”

And John then in 1 John 4:18 – “there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”

In the verse from 1 John, “perfected” might be better translated as completed or fulfilled. You could say John is saying – “freedom from fear is ours because God’s love for us has been fulfilled (in Christ!)” The context for this verse is found in the verses that preceded this – (and for that matter, the verses that come later). John is not talking about imperfect love as if there was something we could actually do to counteract fear in our lives. Looking at the verses that come right before verse 18 – I love what John says about this kind of love –

¹⁰ In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. ¹¹ Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹² No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. ¹³ By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. ¹⁴ And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. ¹⁵ Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. ¹⁶ So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us.

God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God and God abides in him.
1 John 4:16 (ESV)

I’ve included these two passages in this particular prayer of confession because anxiety breeds a lot of shame – and what we see in both Paul and John is that love is the antidote to fear. We are promised a Father in heaven – because of what Christ has done for us we now call him, Abba, dear Papa… And we are told in the passage from 1 John that the way through fear and anxiety is to receive the kind of love that leads to abiding in Him.

All this to say, that when we come to the prayer of confession in our theme of peace, I think it’s unproductive to simply say – “repent of your fear or anxiety.” I’m not saying there isn’t a need to repent of any attitude that keeps us from receiving all that God has done for us in Christ. I just don’t think that’s where we start.

As we look to the Holy Spirit to reveal our hearts let’s be open to seeing the ways our sins against others, ourselves or God keep us bound to anxiety. Here are some questions that might help us be specific in our confession and thus to go on to receive His forgiveness.

Are there ways you try to manage our anxiety through unhealthy practices? In our confessions of sin last week, I talked about defensive mechanisms that keep us numb. – over-using our phones, binging on shows (I do love my murder mysteries), scrolling through social media, over or under eating… These are all ways we might try to manage our anxiety. Here are a few others:

Do you compare yourself to others? This can almost be unconscious, because we do it so often. We walk into a room and immediately measure ourselves against others there. We’re better, smarter, cooler, whatever. Or we’re painfully aware of how we don’t measure up – we will never be that smart, good, cool, whatever…

Do you judge others harshly – out of an attempt to mask your judgment of yourself?

Are there self-destructive patterns of behavior you engage in while trying to mask anxiety?

Do you hold onto unforgiveness because you believe you could never measure up to what you “think” God demands of you?

Do you find that your thoughts spiral down in paralyzing ways?

Prayerfully consider these questions as you come into this prayer confession. Confess, repent, receive and then come back to a place where you can abide in His love for you! And let that assurance bring you the kind of shalom peace Christ has purchased for you. That kind of love and peace Christ gives us restores in us wonder and worship. There is no other god like our God!

…we cannot talk about sin for very long without being drawn into doxology. Were it not for the mercy of God surrounding us, we would have no perspective from which to view sin, for we would be entirely subject to it. That is the reason for affirming that wherever sin is unmasked and confessed, God’s redemptive power is already present and acting. Fleming Rutledge

Begin by centering your heart in God’s presence… Give thanks to Him that you do not need to hide anything from him. Affirm that He is faithful and good, and his mercy and grace are “new every morning.” The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness” (Lam. 3:22-23).

Now let Him begin the process of searching your heart. Are there ways you have not honored Christ this week? Where were your thoughts and desires not centered in Him? How have you failed in obedience to Christ?

Then, simply confess in as specific a way you can the sins that trouble you. Don’t rush through this process. Simply rest in God’s presence as He does this.

Now choose to let this go and receive Christ’s forgiveness for you. Remember – “He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9)

Receive His assurance of pardon – ⁷ In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, ⁸ which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight ⁹ making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ . (Eph 1:7-9 ESV)

And finally commit this confession to the Lord. As you rest in His forgiveness ask Him how to walk this out. Ask for the supernatural power of His Spirit to give you what you need to move forward. “Cast your burdens unto Jesus!” Friends, I couldn’t resist this video – I remember singing it often during Pastoral Care Ministries schools!

Please note here, I realize there often is a need to get professional help in dealing with anxiety disorders. I am not trivializing that by giving you “five points to freedom from anxiety.” Please know that God is deeply concerned about what you need. And whether it’s spiritual help or psychological help you need – please reach out to get the help you need!

The Lord’s Prayer Week One Advent 2024

Prayer is of course one of those spiritual practices that help form Christ in us. I started this particular practice last year because I wanted to keep the Lord’s Prayer fresh in my devotional life. I encourage you to do this as well. I simply wrote out the prayer from Matthew 6 and then asked the Holy Spirit to help me write my own with that week’s theme in mind.

Our Father, who art in heaven,

Hallowed by thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done.

On earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day, our daily bread,

And forgive us our sins,

As we forgive those who have sinned against us.

And lead us not into temptation.

But deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom, and the power,

And the glory, forever. Amen.

Matthew 6:9-13

Our Father – You whose name is so holy that we cannot help but worship; we are in awe that we have a Father in heaven and not some distant or indifferent power. Who else is there but You – and if we have you, what more do we need? You lavish us with not only your blessed kingdom, but also what we need to satisfy our hungers. Yet, Lord, we ache for the fullness of a kingdom without hunger or thirst, a kingdom without fear or despair. Our sure and fast hope is that you will bring that kingdom to us, your beloved on the Day of the Lord. Turn our hearts away from our own willful ways to your will alone, and forgive us Lord. We do not take it for granted, and so out of gratitude for this wonder[ful] gift, we give you praise and honor. How can we then keep from those who have sinned against us that same grace and charity? Hide us, Abba, through your Holy Spirit that we might not fall into temptation, but stay true to you alone. May we persevere with hope until that day when you will make all things new. Keep from us all wiles of the devil or the world that we might for all eternity bend the knee to you for whom belongs all the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever. Amen.

Lectio Divina – Week One Advent 2024

All of a sudden we just know: prayer is a conversation in which God’s Word has the initiative and we, for the moment, can be nothing more than listeners. The essential thing is for us to hear God’s Word and discover from it how to respond to him. His Word is the truth, opened up to us. For there is no ultimate, unquestionable truth in man; he knows this, as full of questionings, he looks up to God and sets out toward him. God’s Word is his invitation to us to be with him in the truth. We are in danger of drowning on the open sea, and God’s Word is the rope ladder thrown down to us so that we can climb up into the rescuing vessel. It is the carpet, rolled toward us so that we can walk along it to the Father’s throne. It is the lantern which shines in the darkness of the world (a world which keeps silence and refuses to reveal its own nature); it casts a softer light on the riddles which torment us and encourages us to keep going. Finally, God’s Word is himself, his most vital, his innermost self: his only begotten Son, of the same nature as himself, sent into the world to bring it home, back to him. And so God speaks to us from heaven and commends to us his Word, dwelling on earth for a while: “This is my beloved Son: listen to him: (Mat. 17:5) ^[1]

Psalm 146:5 – Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God, who made heaven and earth the sea and all that is in them, who keeps faith forever; who executes justice for the oppressed, who gives food to the hungry…

Step One – Read the passage slowly, attentively. Allow yourself to be taken in by the words – pay attention to any word or phrase that strikes you in the passage. (If you haven’t studied this passage, you may find this first reading will stir observation questions in you – such as who, what when, where, how).

Step Two – Read it again. Meditate and reflect on the passage. What is it in your life that needs to hear that word or phrase? Sit in silence for a time, attending to the thoughts, images and impressions that begin to come to you. Turn that into prayer.

Step Three – What is God saying to you? What do you begin to feel called to?

Step Four – How does God want you to live this passage out? What are you resolved to do?

[1] Hans Urs Von Balthasar, Prayer (San Francisco: Ignatius Press), 1986. Translated by Graham Harrison.

The Lord’s Prayer – The Shattered Door

Our Father, who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come; thy will be done.
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day, our daily bread,
And forgive us our sins,
As we forgive those who have sinned against us.
And lead us not into temptation.
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, and the power,
And the glory, forever. Amen.

Our Father in heaven, where all the angels sing for joy. Christ Your Son has been resurrected from the dead! Can we hope, dear Abba, that this will be your will for us as well? That in the ushering in of the final kingdom – we will be made new – in body, soul and spirit? What incredible grace! What incredible joy! Nourish us, Father, with this bread of life, which is real bread and real food! And forgive us our sins, especially in this season, the sin of unbelief. Give us strength of will to forgive those who have sinned against us. We desire, Lord, that no one be exempt from Your grace! Keep far from us the power of temptation and deliver us from all evil. We wait Father, for the fulfillment of the Kingdom of Your Son – to whom with You and the Holy Spirit belong all the power, and all the glory, forever. Amen.

Confessional Prayer – Eastertide Week 5

“Reflecting on the week that has passed, Lord, show me where you were at work in my life. In what ways did I experience your goodness and when did I hear you speak.” * In what ways did I experience the power of your resurrection? In ways unique to my life, my relationships and/or my practices?

I have come to see that it is hard work to answer this question. It takes dedication and patience to see how and where God has been faithful and good. I think the same is true of confession of sin. We are not naturally attuned to either. One of the ways I’ve gotten a bit better at this is to try to start each day with asking the Holy Spirit to orient my attention through the day so that I can identify God’s goodness to me; or for that matter to help me identify sins I need to confess.

Then, simply confess in as specific a way you can the sins that trouble you. Don’t rush through this process. Simply rest in God’s presence as He does this.

Now choose to let this go and receive Christ’s forgiveness for you. Remember – “He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9)

Loving Lord Jesus, thank you for bearing my sins in Your body on the cross. By your wounds I am healed and by Your blood I am cleansed (1 Peter 2:24). I receive Your forgiveness now. *

And finally commit this confession to the Lord. As you rest in His forgiveness ask Him how to walk this out. Ask for the supernatural power of His Spirit to give you what you need to move forward. Thank Him that you “have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer [you] who live, but Christ lives in [you]” (Gal. 2:20).

*Both these prayers are from the app lectio365.

Lectio Divina – Eastertide Week Five

1 Peter 1:3-5 ³Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! By his great mercy he gave us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, ⁴that is, into an inheritance imperishable, undefiled, and unfading. It is reserved in heaven for you, ⁵who by God’s power are protected through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

Step Three – What is God saying to you? What do you begin to feel called to?

Step Four – How does God want you to live this passage out? What are you resolved to do?

Lectio Quote

[Regarding] divine hope: there is no gap, no space between the future and the present, because the kingdom of God is at hand and “God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying ‘Abba! Father!’” (Gal 4:6). Our Christian hope is rooted in the possession of the substance to be revealed, not in the expectation of a substantial gift to come. If we “have been raised with Christ…seated at the right hand of God” (Col 3:1), we have all that we can ever hope for—even if we need immense patience to wait for its revelation. Ladislaw Orsy