prayer of examen

Holy Week Reflections: The Journey of Repentance

Return to the Lord Your God with All Your Heart – With Jesus, we set our face toward Jerusalem. We make our pilgrimage with Him by the way of repentance, and thus, return to the dying and rising of Holy Baptism.¹

In the gospel of Luke there are five mentions of Christ’s intention to go to Jerusalem. In Luke 9:51 we are told that “when the days draw near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem.” The language here for “set his face” describes Christ’s determination, “his steely resolve” to do His Father’s bidding. I believe it’s our call as well in this season of Lent to set our faces toward Holy Week.

I’m mindful of the significance of entering fully into all that this week holds. As I read the different gospel accounts of Holy Week I confess a preference for Luke’s gospel account. He is such a grand storyteller and how he leads us into this time is particularly profound. As I have been studying this week I’ve also been struck by the range of emotions we see in Jesus.– His sorrow over Jerusalem (Luke 19:41), His wrath in the temple (Luke 19:45), His grief in the garden (Luke 22:45-46), and His joy in the cross (Heb. 12:2).

I think it’s fitting for us, on the eve of Palm Sunday, to do the work of the prayer of examen. (If you want the specifics of the prayer of examen or confessional prayer, I did include the link in my last post, but you can also click here: https://hamewith.org/2023/12/confessional-prayer/)

Let’s find a quiet place and begin to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to us those sins, habits or attitudes that need to be forgiven. I think we cannot (or should not) do this work on our own. That would probably put us in jeopardy of either minimizing our sin or keeping us bound in unhealthy guilt or shame. The apostle Paul can help us here -in Col. 3:5-10 he is thorough in describing those sins we were called to put to death in our baptisms. (But I would also recommend finding a trusted friend or pastor to be with you in your confession).

It is the work of the Holy Spirit that we need as we come to confession of sin. We need Him to reveal Christ to us; we need Him to show us our hearts; we need Him to awaken in us a holy contrition, and sorrow over our sins and our forgetfulness.

So, as we come to this prayer, we cry out – Show us Christ, Lord, show us the Father’s love. Let gratitude rise in our hearts in this holy time for all that You, and the Father and the Son have done in our hearts and lives… We remember Your goodness, Your provision for us, Your great faithfulness. We come to this confession as the psalmist did in Psalm 139:23 -24, “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Test me and know my thoughts! See if there is any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting!”

We don’t need to make a ruthless inventory of sins – but we do need to be as specific as we can. Use your prayer journal to do this, or even better do what I suggested earlier: find someone who can be a witness to your confession. As we name them, and confess them we can pray – “Lord, I repent. I turn from this sin.” Alexander Schmemann in writing about repentance says that “repentance as regret, as a desire to return, and a surrender to God’s love and mercy… “is a gift to every Christian. He goes on, “repentance is the shock of man, seeing in himself the ‘image of the ineffable glory,’ [and] realizes that he has defiled, betrayed and rejected it [as bearers of the image of God] in his life.” ² This sort of contrition and compunction is a gift of the Holy Spirit as we yield our sins up to Christ.

We then go on to ask the Spirit to search our hearts to reveal to us the roots of those sins. If I confess the sin of gossiping about someone I need to see what is at the heart of that sin. Is it envy? Bitterness? Scorn? These too Paul addresses in Colossians 3.

After our confession of sin, we must go on to receive God’s forgiveness in Christ. This is a critical part of our confession. We leave our sins at the cross and take deep into our hearts the grace and mercy of God. “Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?” (Rom 6:3)

“The power of sin to rule [our] lives has been destroyed in the cross of Christ: we have died with Christ and have been raised up together with him in newness of life.” (Richard Lovelace)

“Therefore, we are not to set the estimates of our power to conquer sin according to past experiences of our will power but are to fix our attention on Christ and the power of his risen life in which we participate: for we have died, and our life is now hidden with Christ in God.”³

This is the work of every believer. This is the work of love. Confession of sin deepens not only our love for God but for ourselves and others too. Truly confessing and repenting has a way of uniting us with the Body of Christ. Today is the Day of the Lord. Today he calls us to set our eyes on Jerusalem. Begin this journey by bringing your sins, regrets and forgetfulness to Christ. Let this week be a new day for you – a call to once again live out your baptismal identity. We were dead in our sins, and Christ brought us back from death into life. Thanks be to God!

¹ http://www.stpaullutheranchurchhamel.org/ashwednesday.html>

² Alexander Schmemann, Great Lent: Journey to Pascha (St Valdimir’s Seminary Press, 1969), 65.

³ Richard Lovelace, Dynamics of Spiritual Life: An Evangelical Theology of Renewal (Inter-Varsity Press), 115.

Turning Our Hearts to Calvary

Friends, as we turn our hearts toward Calvary, it would serve us well to begin (or to continue if this is already a part of your devotional life) to pray the prayer of examen, a practice initiated by St Ignatius. (For a description of this go to https://hamewith.org/2023/12/confessional-prayer/)

This prayer gives us time and space to ask the Holy Spirit to search our hearts and to bring present to us any way that we have not honored God or others and have sinned as a result of that dishonor. But before we go there, we need to quiet our hearts to enter more deeply into the most perfect and extravagant love of our Triune God, Father, Son and Spirit. (To give words to their incredible uniqueness and unity, I’ve included a link to the creed here – https://hamewith.org/2025/03/the-athanasian-creed/

John 3:16 For this is the way God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. (NET)

I’m afraid that this verse has become so familiar to us that we rarely take time to enter into the profound truth spoken here. This can be, as we allow it, an opportunity to let beauty and truth enter deeply into our souls. Take some time now to read this slowly, as integrated persons (head and heart) allowing the Holy Spirit to bring forth its eternal truth. This is lectio divina, the act of entering deeply into the meaning of Scripture.

“When we do lectio divina, we read Scripture in line with its divine character – as we always should.” Hans Boersma.

Boersma goes on to say, “the search for meaning (that is to say, exegesis) is a search for God, not an attempt at historical reconstruction. And if exegesis is a knocking and searching for God himself, then lectio divina is simply what we do when we rightly handle the word of truth (2 Tim 2:15).” (Pierced by Love: Divine Reading with the Christian Tradition, p 14-15).

While it’s natural for us to read this passage for ourselves, I would encourage you to read it as well, as a member of the Church, the Body of Christ. Pay close attention to John’s reference “God loved the world.”

Let’s turn our hearts to Philippians 2: 5-11, where Paul tells us that Christ emptied himself (v. 7) in order to become like us. This is not the place to think about the theological connotations of kenosis, although a rigorous study of that is highly recommended! Paul tells us that Christ emptied himself, took on the form of a slave, becoming like us. His calling from there was to be obedient (to the Father), even to death on a cross.

What kind of love is this? Though it may seem rhetorical, we should let the truth of this profound love deeply impact us. Take the time to reflect, to meditate (chew on) and pray through this passage. Consider its beauty and truth. Boersma calls us to “true contemplation, the contemplation that has as its heart’s desire – “I sought Him whom my soul loveth” (Song of Solomon 3:1) (Pierced by Love, p. 167).

⁵ You should have the same attitude toward one another that Christ Jesus had, ⁶ who though he existed in the form of God did not regard equality with God as something to be grasped, ⁷ but emptied himself by taking on the form of a slave, by looking like other men, and by sharing in human nature. ⁸ He humbled himself, by becoming obedient to the point of death – even death on a cross! ⁹ As a result God exalted him and gave him the name that is above every name, ¹⁰ so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow – in heaven and on earth and under the earth – ¹¹ and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father. (Phi 2:5-11 NET)

Boersma continues the idea of contemplation by saying – “the soul feels the delight of the Word’s caresses” (Song of Songs, 3:1) (Boersma, p. 167). Allow the Word (John 1:1) and the Scriptures to profoundly minister to you and embrace all that they offer. It is the unique task of the Holy Spirit to open our eyes to the glory (and love) of the Father and the Son.

As we begin to allow the Holy Spirit to reveal to us any sin, any way that we have dishonored God or others, remember this: “…participation in Christ means abandoning our pretenses, openly acknowledging our identities as sinner in bondage, and in the same moment realizing with a stab of piercing joy that the victory is already ours in Christ, won by him who died to save us. (Rutledge)

The action of God precedes our consciousness of sin, so that we perceive the depth of our own participation in sin’s bondage, simultaneously with the recognition of the unconditional love of Christ…” (Fleming Rutledge, The Crucifixion, p. 171).

This is enough for the day. The Crucifixion does indeed call forth our needs to confess sin, but before we get there, let’s allow the Love of the Trinity to pierce our hearts and souls. Let me leave you with this thought: “At the risk of oversimplifying, for Paul the sequence is not sin-repentance-forgiveness, but grace-sin-deliverance-repentance-grace” (Rutledge, p. 192).

Let this version of the hymn,” O the deep deep love of Jesus” bring rest to your soul.

Hans Boersma, Pierced by Joy: Divine Reading with the Christian Tradition (Lexham Press, 2023), 14-15.
ibid. p. 167.
Fleming Rutledge, The Crucifixion: Understanding the Death of Jesus Christ (Wm. B. Eerdmans, 2015), p. 171.
ibid. p. 192.

Advent One – Confessional Prayer

The grace of God prepares the way for the confession of sin, is present in the confession, and even before the confession has been made, has already worked the restoration of which the confession is not the cause but the sign.
Fleming Rutledge

This is a good prayer to either pray through in your journal, or with others. Praying with others, confessing our sins, is a rich way to build community and humility. If you have any questions about this spiritual practice I’ve included an explanation of this in the spiritual practices section.

Begin by centering your heart in God’s presence… Give thanks to Him that you do not need to hide anything from him. Affirm that He is faithful and good, and his mercy and grace are “new every morning.” The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness” (Lam. 3:22-23).

Now let Him begin the process of searching your heart. Are there ways you have not honored Christ this week? Where were your thoughts and desires not centered in Him? How have you failed in obedience to Christ?

Then, simply confess in as specific a way you can the sins that trouble you. Don’t rush through this process. Simply rest in God’s presence as He does this.

Now choose to let this go and receive Christ’s forgiveness for you. Remember – “He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

And finally commit this confession to the Lord. As you rest in His forgiveness ask him how to walk this out. Ask for the supernatural power of His Spirit to give you what you need to move forward. Thank Him that you “have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer [you] who live, but Christ lives in [you]” (Gal. 2:20). How is He calling you to prepare for His return?

Merciful God, who sent your messengers, the prophets, to preach repentance and prepare the way for our salvation: Give us grace to heed their warnings and forsake our sins, that we may greet with joy the coming of Jesus Christ our Redeemer, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Book of Common Prayer.

Confessional Prayer

There are many practices of prayer in the Christian life: prayers of petition, intercession, praise, worship, and others. One of those prayers that I think is important for the Christian is a regular time of prayer that helps us to confess our sins and receive forgiveness. One such prayer is traditionally called the prayer of examen. Developed in the 15^th century by St. Ignatius of Loyola, it has been used for centuries as a way to reflect on the day’s activities and give it over to God. This might involve ways of seeing God’s movement in the day, or it might be a way to release troubles or challenges we faced that day. Traditionally this prayer begins with acknowledging God’s presence. It continues with gratitude and reviewing the day and ends with asking God to show us how He wants you to respond.

The prayer of examen is not explicitly found in Scripture but the principles are certainly biblical. This practice has made a comeback in recent years as many Christians, especially Evangelicals, have been drawn to a deeper prayer life. Unfortunately, most of the versions I’ve seen omit what I think is critical for Christian formation – and that is regular confession of sin and receiving of forgiveness. One writer talks about the “two doors” to this prayer – the first being an examen of consciousness (being aware of God’s presence with us) and the second an examen of conscience (where we have fallen short).

I have found as well that most of us are probably able to identify sin in our lives but don’t know what to do about it other than feel guilty, so we just tend to ignore it. But our life with Christ is shallow without this practice of confession because this is the heart of the gospel and the very thing our baptisms and the Communion Table speak to – taking our place in Christ’s death and in His resurrection!

Leanne Payne in The Healing Presence quotes William Barclay as he reminds us: “An easy-going attitude to sin is always dangerous. It has been said that our one security against sin lies in our being shocked at it. Carlyle said that men must see the infinite beauty of holiness and the infinite damnability of sin. When we cease to take a serious view of sin we are in a perilous position. It is not a question of being critical and condemnatory; it is a question of being wounded and shocked. It was sin that crucified Jesus Christ. It was to free men from sin that he died. No Christian should take an easy-going view of it”.

This is also why I believe this prayer should always include an intentional receiving of Christ’s work on the Cross for that sin, for that struggle. We need to receive forgiveness! Perhaps it might better be said that we need to walk into the forgiveness of sin that Christ died for. He died once and for all time, but we often fail to hold onto that reality and so regular confession of sin and its resulting forgiveness becomes a way for us to apply His work to our lives.

For that reason, I am calling this regular practice of prayer – Confessional Prayer. It follows the principles of the prayer of examen but allows us to embrace our freedom in Christ through its adherence to dealing with sin.

There are four steps to this prayer. I’m including scriptures that I hope will help you go through each step

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never end; they are new every morning, great is your faithfulness
Lamentations 3:22-23

Begin by centering your heart in God’s presence… “The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth.” Psalm 145.8. Give thanks to Him that you do not need to hide anything from him. Affirm that He is faithful and good, and his mercy and grace are “new every morning.”

Ask the Spirit to show you any sin you need to bring to Christ. Bring that to your confession. The list of questions listed below might help.

“Search me O God and know my heart, test me and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24

As the Holy Spirit is revealing those things you need to bring to Christ, simply confess as specifically as you can the sins that trouble you. Don’t rush through this process. Simply rest in God’s presence as He does this.

Now choose to let this go and receive Christ’s forgiveness for you. Remember:

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1Jo 1:9 ESV)

And finally commit this confession to the Lord. As you rest in his forgiveness ask him how to walk this out. Ask for the supernatural power of His Spirit to give you what you need to move forward. Thank him that:

“[you] have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer [you] who live, but Christ lives in [you]” (Gal. 2:20).

I’m including at the end of this explanation a series of questions that you might find helpful in this prayer. At the same time, we are not called to introspect and try and find all those “hidden sins” we think must be there deep in our unconscious minds. I agree with the author of this quote: “The Examen is not primarily concerned with good or bad actions but with the impulses that drive them”. At the same time, making this prayer a regular practice of our prayer life will help us more quickly identify our diseased sins and attitudes.

In some weeks of this guide, I will include ways that this prayer might help us with the themes of that week. At other times, it will simply stand on its own.

“The act of penitence and the reception of pardon are definite acts – a very real transaction with God, and we fail in this when we turn from God to seek feelings or states of our own minds.”
Leanne Payne, Real Presence

I want to return to why guilt and shame can keep us from this practice of confession and pardon. It has to do with the distinction between our feelings about the guilt or shame and the objective act of confession itself. C.S. Lewis struggled much of his life with introspection, the drowning as it were, in the waters of subjectivity. He, like many of us, believed that his feelings about his sins were the most important thing about them. And because of that, he had a hard time trusting the act of receiving forgiveness for his sins. He might confess his sin and try to “receive” pardon, but the guilt would remain in his unconscious mind and pop up at the worst times! When that happens to us I think we believe that if we don’t hold onto the guilt or shame then we are not sufficiently repentant. Lewis would go on to conquer this bad habit and entered joyfully into confession and pardon!

Confession and pardon are acts of the will and are not to be swallowed up by our feelings or subjective beliefs. Quoting Leanne Payne here – “The act of penitence and the reception of pardon are definite acts – a very real transaction with God, and we fail in this when we turn from God to seek feelings or states of our own minds.” (I highly recommend reading Real Presence by Leanne Payne, chapter 6 and or looking up what Lewis wrote about this subject). When we find that we can be honestly objective about both the sin and the pardon- it lifts a weight off our souls that is incredibly freeing.

Helpful Questions for Examining your Heart

Where have I been drawn into the mindset of the world?
Where were/are my thoughts and desires not ordered toward God?
Where have I resisted the voice of God in this season of my life?
Is there a part of my heart/life that I keep back from God? a place I am unwilling to surrender?
Do I compare myself to others? Either in ways that convince me I will never measure up? or in ways that make me feel superior?
Where did I consciously sin today?
What patterns of sin do I struggle with these days?
How have I failed in love?
How have I failed in obedience to Christ?