Into Our Bones

The Door in the Wall: Reflections on Temptation

In the last post we talked about the temptation of Christ in the wilderness at the very beginning of his ministry. This post will be about what temptation looks like for and in us. Tomorrow’s post will be about how we deal with temptation through our relationship with God and with each other.

The first point we need to make here is that temptation is not sin. I’m reminded of something Martin Luther is rumored to have said. “You can’t keep a bird from flying over your head, but you can keep it from building a nest on it!” To breathe is to be tempted!

Christian maturity is not indicated by the infrequency of temptation but by the infrequency of succumbing to temptation.
Douglas Moo

Secondly, it will be natural to be discouraged as we take some time to look at the temptations we face and how often we give into them. We must remember that when we sin, “we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.” (1 John 2:1).

We must take to heart this encouraging word from the book of Hebrews:

¹⁵ For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. ¹⁶ Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Hebrews 4:15-16 (ESV)

This is a familiar verse that I think bears slowing down and praying through. It makes a good Scripture for our Lectio Divina this week

Thirdly, we are not left alone to our own resources when we struggle with temptation. As hard as it might seem, we must remember that we are indwelt by a living God. In the throes of temptation, we can indeed practice the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ, calling on Him to help us! Leanne Payne never left this sentiment out of her teachings: “Apart from God we have been and are in many ways monstrous; we do monstrous things. When we are properly related to God, we silence the accuser of our souls by admitting, “Yes, I am capable of the petty; I am capable of the monstrous; and if He should leave me but for a moment, I should do yet worse.” Restoring the Christian Soul, p. 33.

Fourthly, we must believe that God is never the tempter. (He does test us – look at the last post for more clarity here). James 1:13-15 – ¹³ Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one.

¹⁴ But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. ¹⁵Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
James 1:14-15 (ESV)

Finally, we should not fall into the “temptation” of grading our temptations. It’s sheer pride to think “well, at least my sin is not as bad as some.” It’s also pride to think that no one could possibly know what we are going through, because our sin is so great. As we begin our discussion on temptation – let’s stop. Pray. Thank the Father that the triune God dwells in us. Let’s use our God-given imagination to see ourselves in His presence, standing at the Cross. Release self-condemnation, pride, shame, discouragement.

1 John is an incredibly helpful book to read when thinking about temptation and sin, especially chapter 2. I want to take a minute and look at a passage I’ve mentioned before, but which bears a second look!

1 John 2:16 – For all that is in the world–the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life–is not from the Father but is from the world. (ESV)

Many of our temptations will fall in these three categories. The NIV and other translations use the word lusts in place of desires, which can be helpful for our study here. I think the first desire/lust is one we are most familiar with – the struggles with what Paul calls the flesh. Unholy appetites come to mind here – we can go to Galatians 5 and see his list.

The second temptation – the desire/lust of the eyes is one we probably don’t think much about. We would naturally put pornography in that list but I think we would be surprised to find what else might be considered lust of the eyes. I’ll give a personal example that I thought of as I studied the passage on Christ’s temptation. You remember when Satan showed Jesus all the kingdoms of the world and their glory (splendor, magnificence, grandeur – other translations)? You could say that Satan was luring Jesus into this “lust of the eyes” (look at the rocks, bread… post where I talk about concupiscence). Of course, Jesus did not sin!

I’m very aware these days of all that comes at me through social media (mostly Instagram). They pick the right ads for me, they know my hobbies, my interests, even desires. In fact, I would say the movers and shakers of Instagram are showing me the wonders of the world and all its glory (found in the purchases that I believe will make me a better knitter, quilter, cook…). I would have to say – what is required of me other than my money? – Could it be my addiction to consumerism, even my worship? I just googled worship (another fixation…) and this is what I found: “to worship is to show a lot of love and adoration for something.” Ugh.

The third temptation we also find in Satan’s temptation of Jesus. When Satan took Jesus to the highest peak there is and told him to throw himself down and command the angels to catch him, he was tempting Jesus to use his position as the Son of God to save his own life. He was tempting Jesus to what John calls “pride of life.” We too, are tempted by pride – often through our positions, roles, talents, spiritual gifts. Even our discouragement over our sins is a form of pride. I know many people who will not let go of their pasts because it’s become a part of who they think they are. Are any of us exempt from this sin? “Lord, have mercy.”

Let’s move on then and take a look at the observations I’ve made about temptation either through my own struggles or from my pastoral care for others. I am going to reserve the responses to these observations until the next post, in part because it’s good for us to sit with these for a while.

1. Temptation breeds in the indecisive will.

What I mean by this is that if we have not made a decision or a commitment to settle the sin question, we will have a very hard time withstanding temptation.

2. Temptation relies on impulsivity.

Do it now. Don’t think about it! This is where I get caught up into consumerism. Especially with Amazon purchases. Need I say more?

3. Temptation calls us to numb anxieties and fears.

4. Temptation thrives on procrastination.

This is my kryptonite. I’m the worst at postponing decisions about spiritual practices or praying through temptation. When I say I’ll deal with it later, it means I won’t deal with it at all.

5. Temptation counts on us isolating.

This is so real, isn’t it? When we are feeling overwhelmed by temptation all we want to do is retreat – go away from it all, in some misfortunate hope that it will all go away.

James 5:16 – “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

6. Temptation triggers despair.

Even the temptation, which has not given birth to sin can trigger despair. This is so difficult, and so tragic. But, know friend, there is a way back to hope. Hold on, press in, practice His presence, call a friend.

I have a few final thoughts here. I don’t mean to leave you hanging! Tomorrow will come! I think Lent is a really good season to stop and think about and pray about how temptation drives us. It’s that kind of season – a time of reflection, a time of penitence, a time to really press into what is coming! Good Friday is on the horizon – and Resurrection life is on its way! Let’s remember our baptisms – that we have chosen the way of Christ, that we can in prayer, in Communion, take our place once again in His death and in His rising. Thanks be to God!

I want to end this post with part of a story called The Door in the Wall. A young boy was abandoned by his family and suffered greatly. A monk came to him and took him and cared for him and taught him. This is one of the lessons he taught Robin.

Brother Luke uses this as an opportunity to teach Robin greater lessons. He references something familiar to Robin: “‘Dost remember the long wall that is about the garden of thy father’s house?’” Robin replies, “‘Yes, of course. Why?’” The friar continues, “‘Dost remember, too, the wall about the Tower or any other wall?’” Robin nods. “‘Have they not all a door somewhere?’” The friar continues with conviction, “‘Always remember that. Thou hast only to follow the wall far enough and there will be a door in it.’” Robin promises that he will remember, though he is not entirely certain he knows what Brother Luke is trying to tell him. As the story continues, Brother Luke continues to teach Robin many things, including carpentry. “‘Remember, even thy crutches can be a door in a wall.’” From the children’s story – The Door in the Wall.

Amen. Glory to God.

The Temptation of Christ

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. ² After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. ³ The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” ⁴ Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ ” ⁵ Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. ⁶ “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written: “‘He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’ ” ⁷ Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’ ” ⁸ Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. ⁹ “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.” ¹⁰ Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.’ ” (Mat 4:1-10 NIV)

In some traditions the temptation of Christ is taught the first Sunday of Lent. It’s appropriate for us to begin there as well since we too are taking a forty day journey, (although we are a little late to the party). Our journey begins in the desert as well – the place where on Ash Wednesday we were marked with the dust of our mortality and the ashes of our depravity. And in our deserts we too face temptation.

I want to share some thoughts I have about temptation and how to faithfully deal with it, but I wanted to first start with the story of Christ’s temptation. What does his temptation teach us about our own? I’m taking a different approach here than I have in prior posts, by looking at one of the temptation passages and seeing what we can glean from it, through observation and interpretation of the text. Stay with me, friends!

In the text, you can see phrases that I’ve put in bold text, others in colored text, some italicized and some underlined. I think you get the point. I will tell you why I’ve done those particular markings. I have also chosen the Matthew passage, but there are two other accounts, in Luke and in Mark (I love Mark’s. It’s like 2 sentences!) I might refer to them as we go deeper into the text. The first thing we observe in this passage is not even included here! It’s found just prior to this text in all 3 accounts. It’s Christ’s baptism by John the Baptist. From Matthew’s account we read,

¹⁶ And when Jesus was baptized, immediately he went up from the water, and behold, the heavens were opened to him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and coming to rest on him; ¹⁷ and behold, a voice from heaven said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.”
Matthew 3:16-17 (ESV)

This is extremely significant because all three of the accounts mention that the Holy Spirit leads Jesus into the wilderness (verse one in the Matthew account). I love Luke’s account because he adds, “Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, left the Jordan…” This is the same Luke who wrote Acts where he records in chapter 2 – “And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit” (Act 2:4 ESV). I love Mark’s version too because he stresses the incredible significance of what is happening! From the ESV – “The Spirit immediately drove him out into the wilderness!” (Mar. 1:12)

In Matthew’s account we are told that Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. I don’t think I had ever noticed that before. Think on that for a while.

Twice, Satan appeals to Christ’s divine identity and his authority. In the first temptation he is attempting to take advantage of Christ’s hunger – by telling him to turn stones into bread. (A side note here, I find it almost humorous that Matthew says – after 40 days of fasting, he was hungry!) I am ashamed to admit I struggle with hours, not days… In the second temptation he is trying to get Jesus to use his divine authority to command the angels.

I’ve highlighted in red the three times “it is written” is used. Once, by Satan himself, and the others by Christ. After each of these temptations Jesus uses Scripture to refute both Satan and the temptation itself. And the sentences that have been put in bold print are Jesus’ responses (Scripture).

In the first temptation Satan tells Jesus to turn stones into bread. Jesus was hungry and that can be a powerful weapon in the wrong hands. Jesus’ response to him reveals that there is not only a temptation here but a test. Let me chase a rabbit here. We know from Scripture that God never tempts us – but He often tests us.

“The same Greek word can be translated “temptation” and “test.” They are a world apart and context determines which translation to use. Satan is the one who tempts us to sin. God is the one who tests us to righteousness. Satan wants to destroy us. He wants to weaken our faith. He wants us to spiritually fail. On the other hand, our Lord is forever testing us. His goal though tests, often in the form of trials, is to make us spiritually stronger, refine our character and increase our faith.” (Randy Smith)

The first temptation was an appeal to a natural part of being human. The test though, is revealed in the passage Jesus chose to quote from:

“The whole commandment that I command you today you shall be careful to do, that you may live and multiply, and go in and possess the land that the LORD swore to give to your fathers. ² And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. ³ And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.
(Deuteronomy 8:1-3, ESV)

Satan was attempting to get Jesus to use his power to ease his hunger, but the real test was a test in humility. And that was Jesus’ response to Satan.

The second temptation was a temptation to misuse authority. Satan tells Jesus, “throw yourself down… and then command the angels to catch you.” The text that Satan chooses to quote from is found in Psalm 91:12., a beautiful psalm that ironically writes that “those who make the Lord their refuge… will trample the great lion and the serpent” (!) Jesus responds with another Scripture: Deu. 6:16 – “You shall not put the LORD your God to the test… (ESV)

I think the test here is one of trust. Will Jesus trust the Father? Looking at Psalm 91:9-10, it reads ⁹ If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, ¹⁰ no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent.

With the third temptation Satan tries to have Jesus use his divine right to rule over all the kingdoms of the earth. “Again, the devil took him to a high mountain, and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor” (Mat. 4:8). Satan not only is tempting him to take the kingdoms, but to assume their splendor as well. This temptation centers on the possibility of glory. In 1 John 2:16 (which we will talk about in the next post) John speaks to three temptations, which he calls the desires of the flesh, the desires of the eyes, and the pride of life. I believe there is a correlation between this temptation and the “desires of the eyes.” Satan shows Jesus all the kingdoms in the world and offers them to him. The condition here is of course, that Jesus must worship him. I think Satan must have been getting tired of Jesus making it through these temptations, because this one is really lame. Why take what is already yours?

The Scripture Jesus speaks from is 1 Samuel 7:3-4, ³ So Samuel said to all the Israelites, “If you are returning to the LORD with all your hearts, then rid yourselves of the foreign gods and the Ashtoreths and commit yourselves to the LORD and serve him only, and he will deliver you out of the hand of the Philistines.” ⁴So the Israelites put away their Baals and Ashtoreths and served the LORD only. (NIV)

The test is idolatry and Jesus says to Satan – “For it is written: Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.” (Mat. 4:10)

There are lessons to be learned here in how Jesus dealt with temptations and with tests, lessons for our own struggles. I pray that as God has revealed Himself in His word we might have hearts eager to respond. I’ll leave you with a quote.

“His fast of forty days makes this a holy season of self-denial. By rejecting the devil’s temptations, he has taught us to rid ourselves of the hidden corruption of evil, and so to share his paschal meal in purity of heart, until we come to its fulfillment in the promised land of heaven.”
(https://www.marquette.edu/faith/reflections-lent-1.php)

We will make the shift from looking at Christ’s temptations to dealing with our own! May God give us courage!

The Lord’s Prayer in Lent – Forgiving Others

Our Father, who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come; thy will be done.
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day, our daily bread,
And forgive us our sins,
As we forgive those who have sinned against us.
And lead us not into temptation.
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, and the power,
And the glory, forever. Amen.

As I thought and prayed about this week’s Lord’s Prayer, I felt that as we think about forgiving others, we would do well to sit for a time, and let the Holy Spirit reveal the Father to us. We need to let the words of Jesus from John 17:6 go deep into our bones. “I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me, and they have obeyed your word.” A little further on He says “I pray… that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me, and I am in you. May they also be in us that the world may believe that you have sent me.” (17:21).

Our unity with others is rooted in the Father’s oneness with Christ, and They share that oneness with us.

We thank thee that we have a father, and not a maker; that thou hast begotten us, and not molded us as images of clay; that we have come forth of thy heart and have not been fashioned by thy hands. It must be so. Only the heart of a father is able to create. We rejoice in it and bless thee that we know it. We thank thee for thyself. Be what thou art — our root and life, our beginning and end, our all in all. Come home to us. Thou livest; therefore, we live. In thy light we see. Thou art — that is all our song.
George MacDonald

This quote from George MacDonald is so healing; so incredible. I even find it holy. How many of us did not have earthly fathers like MacDonald describes his Father in heaven? Yet Christ reveals Him to us, and we make our home with Them.

From that place, (the place of oneness we share with the Father and the Son), we are given what we need to forgive. So, take some time and listen to this recording of Andrea Bocelli singing The Lord’s Prayer. Then take any unforgiveness or bitterness or hardness of heart to your Heavenly Father, and receive the grace and freedom Christ has bought through His finished work on the Cross.

Confessional Prayer – Forgiving Others

Mirslov Volf wrote, “Forgiveness flounders because I exclude my enemy from the community of humans, and I exclude myself from the community of sinners.”

Begin by centering your heart in God’s presence… Give thanks to Him that you do not need to hide anything from him. Affirm that He is faithful and good, and his mercy and grace are “new every morning.” The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness” (Lam. 3:22-23).

Now let Him begin the process of searching your heart. Are there people in your life you struggle to forgive? What stands in the way of forgiving them?

Then, simply confess in as specific a way you can the sin, or unforgiveness that troubles you. Don’t rush through this process. Simply rest in God’s presence as He does this.

Now choose with God’s help to forgive them. See them in the presence of God. Ask God for Hi s mercy to fall on them. Receive Christ’s forgiveness for you. Remember – “He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9)

Receive His assurance of pardon – ⁷ In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, ⁸ which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight ⁹ making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ . (Eph 1:7-9 ESV)

And finally commit this confession to the Lord. As you rest in his forgiveness ask him how to walk this out. Is God asking you to do anything in regard to your forgiving the one who sinned against you? Ask for the supernatural power of His Spirit to give you what you need to move forward. Thank him that you “have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer [you] who live, but Christ lives in [you]” (Gal. 2:20).

Lectio Divina: Matthew 5:38-45

³⁸ “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ ³⁹ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. ⁴⁰ And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. ⁴¹ And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. ⁴² Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you. ⁴³ “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵ so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. (ESV)

Step One – Read the passage slowly, attentively. Allow yourself to be taken in by the words – pay attention to any word or phrase that strikes you in the passage. (If you haven’t studied this passage, you may find this first reading will stir observation questions in you – such as who, what when, where, how).

Step Two – Read it again. Meditate and reflect on the passage. What is it in your life that needs to hear that word or phrase? This is an incredibly challenging passage. Sit in silence for a time, attending to the thoughts, images and impressions that begin to come to you. Turn that into prayer. Who do you think of when you think of your enemy? Where have you struggled to forgive or to love your enemy? – commit that to God.

Step Three – What is God saying to you? What do you begin to feel called to?

Step Four – How does God want you to live this passage out? What are you resolved to do? Is there more forgiveness work that needs to be done? What does going the extra mile look like for you? What does loving your enemy look like?

Lectio Quote: Forgiveness

The triumph of sin, the main sign of its rule over the world, is division, opposition, separation, hatred. Therefore, the first break through this fortress of sin is forgiveness: the return to unity, solidarity, love. To forgive is to put between me and my “enemy” the radiant forgiveness of God himself. To forgive is to reject the hopeless “dead-ends” of human relations and to refer them to Christ. Forgiveness is truly a “breakthrough” of the kingdom into this sinful and fallen world. (Great Lent, p. 27)

You can go through the same steps that we use for Lectio Divina for Scripture, or simply take some time and read this quote slowly and seek the Holy Spirit’s help to press into this word on forgiveness.

Love of Another Kind

We are completing our picture of repentance with a word on the last desire or virtue from the last Sunday pre-Lent. Forgiveness is the virtue – and one way of seeing it is as the desire to lay down our arms; to make a cease-fire; to turn the other cheek, to bless and honor our enemies. While what I’ve read of these preparations for Lent haven’t grouped them in any hierarchal order, they do seem to build one on the other.

If our first foray into repentance and preparation is a desire and hunger for God and His righteousness, then what follows in respect to the second desire makes sense. We long to be what God calls us to be, we thirst for His presence and His righteousness. We take our rightful place in relationship with Him and as a result in right relationship with each other. We accept that our repentance will carry with it the virtue of humility. And then from that place we know that we must make our way home from the far country of our sins. Repentance then takes on the deep desire to go home, to make peace with our Father and leave behind all that was destined to ruin us. Contrition is the virtue and regular confession of sin is the practice that keeps that repentance fresh and rich.

The fourth desire is love – the kind of love that shows mercy – not just occasional mercy but steadfast mercy, steadfast love. The Old Testament calls this “hesed” – and when attributed to God it reveals itself in faithful, long enduring, loyal mercy and steadfast love and goodness. Here mercy is not the opposite of justice, it is the pouring out of our lives in service to others because we want to be like Jesus, and because we want to give back to him what He has so generously given to us. Thomas Hopko says that “having mercy is God’s most distinguishing characteristic. Pouring out His mercy, His steadfast love, upon His covenanted people is His main characteristic (The Lenten Spring, p. 62). It’s easy to see how this virtue follows the others – we hunger for God’s righteousness, which means we accept our place in relationship with Him, and we long to live contrite and holy lives. Our reach then extends beyond our love of Him and goes out toward our neighbors and beyond.

The fifth desire signals a movement toward a radical place in relationship to others. This picture of repentance is truly “love of another kind.” Forgiveness. That’s it. One word. But probably the hardest thing we will ever do (or have ever done). I’m not talking about offering the olive branch of peace to someone who has owned his/her debt. I’m not talking about being able to forgive because we know they didn’t really mean it. I’m not talking about uneasy truces. I’m talking about a way of life that is absolutely impossible without the grace of God, without the power of Christ within. Every one of us will probably have at least one enemy – they might even be a beloved enemy. But we live not only in a broken world, we also live in a world where debts are held onto, where anger seethes beneath the surface, and bitterness carries the day. We might be able to clean up the way we talk to our enemies, but unless we intentionally lay down our arms, we will not know this “love of another kind.”

C.S. Lewis spent much of his life wrestling with forgiving others. He wrote in a letter shortly before he died, that he had finally forgiven a cruel schoolteacher from his early years. I’ve often wondered about the passage in Matthew 18 about forgiving someone 70 x 7 times. I used to think it meant that the one who sinned against me did so 70 x 7 times and each time I was supposed to forgive them. But in my own journey of healing, I have realized that it’s very possible I am called to forgive the same sin over again. I hope you know I’m not talking about being afraid we haven’t forgiven – I’m talking about the layers of unforgiveness that I may have harbored without even knowing I’ve done so.

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Matthew 18:21-22 (ESV)

Lewis says this: “To be Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. This is hard. It is perhaps not so hard to forgive a single great injury. But to forgive the incessant provocations of daily life- to keep on forgiving the bossy mother-in-law, the bullying husband, the nagging wife… how can we do it? Only I think, by remembering where we stand, by meaning our words when we say in our prayers each night ‘forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us.’”

I find it interesting that the only sin mentioned in the Lord’s prayer is the sin of unforgiveness. Our capacity to receive God’s forgiveness is directly related to our capacity to release and forgive our enemies. Unforgiveness is ugly – and we really don’t want to see that kind of ugliness in ourselves. There is one person in my life (well there are probably more, but one sounds like I’m an ok person) that I struggle to forgive. I know I still struggle because when they are mentioned in conversation, I get a little excited when I hear bad things about them. Ugh.

Forgiveness is love of another kind. There are sins so grievous that there is no way we can forgive without the power of the Holy Spirit. Many of us won’t know or experience that kind of evil. But most of us have had people in our lives who turned their backs on us, slandered us, held grudges, or even envied us. There is a part of the Sermon on the Mount that is so hard to read, much less put into practice. For me, I would rather read verses about God’s love for me, like John 3:16. But… Jesus says: ³⁹ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. ⁴⁰ And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. ⁴¹ And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. ⁴² Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you. ⁴³ “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵ so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. (Mat 5: 39-45 ESV)

I would say that this kind of love – this unqualified forgiveness is the pinnacle of repentance. It completes the cycle. If repentance is a jewel, fashioned by God and our obedience, then these five desires reflect significant facets of that jewel. I want to be that kind of person – one willing to yield to the work of God in my heart and in my life that shines forth the kind of repentance that attracts others. Will you join me?

All the things: Mercy and Shame, Contrition and Grace

Today, I am supposed to be writing about the fourth desire in repentance – and that is the desire to be in right relationship to “the other”. This could be about lots of different people – but I think the key is that “the other” – is simply another human person. They are not me.

This is what Schmemann says about the “other”. “Christian love is the “possible impossibility” to see Christ in another man, whoever he is, and whom God, in his eternal and mysterious plan, has decided to introduce into my life, be it only for a few moments, not as an occasion for a “good deed” or an exercise in philanthropy, but as the beginning of an eternal companionship in God himself. For, indeed, what is love if not that mysterious power which transcends the accidental and the external in the “other” – his physical appearance, social rank, ethnic origin, intellectual capacity – and reaches the soul, the unique and uniquely personal “root” of a human being, truly the part of God in him?” (GL: p.23)

This desire is the virtue of love and the story is the story of the Last Judgment, (Mat. 25:31-46) where Jesus talks to two different groups of people about how they fed him or didn’t feed him, gave him drink, or not give them drink. He goes on in great detail – I was a stranger – I was naked, and I was sick, and I was in prison… And he says to the first group – you did this when you did it to the least of these… and to the other group – you did not do any of these things to me because you turned your heart and your words and your actions away from the least of these.

Today, I had lunch with my daughter and my grandsons, and we went to a restaurant we all really like. The service was horrible – I mean we waited over an hour for our food. I was disgusted, wanted to leave, wanted to somehow let the wait staff know just how bad they were at their job. We finally left and I took most of my lunch with me (as some act that might make him feel bad??). I left a really bad tip. I came home and complained to my husband, and felt pretty justified with my contempt for this really bad waiter. And then I sit down to write about repentance and mercy and love. If it weren’t for this particular story being linked to this facet of repentance, I could really concentrate on finding good things to do for people who need good things. I like showing mercy. But I missed the forest for the tree. I missed the opportunity to show Christ to another person – obviously to the waiter, but then of course to my daughter or my grandsons. Ugh.

Ironically, this ties in with the third desire or virtue which is the longing to go home, to turn back from the far country of sin, and make our way back – expecting to do penance; not expecting at all the almost embarrassing love of the Father – the lavish, generous, underserved love of our Father. The virtue that this desire points to is contrition – “which conveys a steady attitude of awareness of one’s frailty and wrongdoing before God” (psaltermark.com). And for me, today, it went deeper – to an old-fashioned word – compunction. Compunction is described as a sudden sense of shame linked to wrongdoing. It’s an experience that “cuts to the heart”. As I sat down to write – what I did today reared its ugly head and I saw my sin for what it was – not merely a missed opportunity to show grace, but a failing that made me miss seeing Jesus as the recipient of that mercy and grace.

I hesitate to even write this out because it’s so fresh that I don’t want to use it as an example in a “sermon” on mercy. I also am afraid that you, the reader, might feel bad for me (maybe I’m projecting, but if any of you would recount this experience to me, I would right away want you not to feel bad!) One of the ways we can grow in this virtue of contrition and the practice of confession – is to let each other confess, feel bad, feel guilt, and not rush in to rescue. It’s up to us if we are called to hear someone else’s confession to encourage the right kinds of guilt and discourage any deep shame that just never lets up. That is pride, and the Cross is God’s response to that kind of pride.

Our solidarity with each other allows us to truly confess and receive what Christ has done for us on the Cross. Thomas Hopko writes that “confession ‘springs from an awareness of what is holy; it means dying to sin and coming alive again to sanctity’. It expresses itself in the ‘oral confession of sins,’ accomplished ‘with precision, without veiling the ugliness of sin by vague expressions.’ It is fulfilled in the resolution never to sin again, although realizing that we will fall because we are not God. It is sealed by our subsequent sufferings to remain steadfast in our struggle against sin. Such confession is at the heart of our spiritual efforts, especially during the lenten spring. (The Lenten Spring, Thomas Hopko, p. 55-56. Hopko is quoting a Father Elchaninov and you see his words in the single quote marks).

So many emotions today. From disgust to a blatant disregard for the “other”, to compunction to contrition to confession to receiving God’s grace. Remember what Fleming Rutledge said about confession: “The grace of God prepares the way for the confession of sin, is present in the confession, and even before the confession has been made, has already worked the restoration of which the confession is not the cause but the sign” (The Crucifixion, p. 204).

Alexander Schmemann calls Lent the season of bright sadness – in part because in Lent as we become more practiced in repentance and we learn we do not have to fear our brokenness and sin, we can receive this season as a season of great joy. Amen.

Rule of Life for Lent 2024

As I entered this season of Lent I went back to my rule of life which I had decided on at the beginning of the year. I’ve written a bit about what a rule of life is. It’s simply a way to stay aligned with what God is calling you to become, not a way to measure what you’ve done. It’s a marker, a signpost. It can include all measure of things. A question, a song, a Scripture, a prayer… Whatever God leads you to! I have found there is no end to the resources out there. I have simply included in my observation of Lent some of the decisions I made at the beginning of the year. I hope this serves as a reminder for you as well.

The question I try to ask each day when I start it is this: “How will I live out my baptism today”? The scripture that comes to mind is the passage from Romans 6:4-11:

Rom 6:4-11 –We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin–because anyone who has died has been freed from sin. Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.

I also call to mind the word from Alexander Schmemann about baptism and the rule of life:

“…to remain faithful to his baptism, living by it, making it always the source and power of his life, a constant judgment, criterion, inspiration, ‘rule of life’.”

And then from St. Patrick:

I arise today:
Through the strength of Christ’s birth with his baptism
Through the strength of His crucifixion with His burial
Through the strength of His resurrection with His ascension
Through the strength of His descent for the judgment of doom.

“Your whole self ruled by the flesh was put off when you were circumcised by Christ, having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through your faith in the working of God who raised him from the dead” ( Colossians 2:11b-12).

A prayer for humility

You know my weakness, Lord. Every morning I make a resolution to practice humility and in the evening I recognize that I have committed again many faults of pride. At this I am tempted to become discouraged but I know that discouragement is also pride. Therefore, O my God, I want to base my hope in you alone. Since you can do everything, deign to bring to birth in my soul the virtue I desire. To obtain this grace of your infinite mercy I will very often repeat: “O Jesus, gentle and humble of heart make my heart like yours!” Amen.
St. Therese of Lisieux

Shhhhh. The practice of silence.

The first feast of the preparation for Lent in the Orthodox tradition is centered on a deep desire, even hunger, for God and for His righteousness. The practice I believe presses this out is fasting. This most certainly means in some ways fasting from food – to allow our hunger for physical nourishment train us in our hunger for God. But there are other ways of fasting as well – what John the apostle wrote of countering the “lust of the eyes”.

The second feast centers on the desire or virtue of humility. The story told is one familiar to most of us and that is the story of the Pharisee and the tax collector, found in Luke 18:10-14. This is a desire for “the right order of things”, where we acknowledge our rightful place before God and even before other people. I think that one of the spiritual practices that might help us fulfill this desire is the practice of silence.

This passage from the Old Testament describes the position all of earth takes before the Lord.

But the Lord is in His holy temple. Let all the earth be silent before Him.
Habakkuk 2:20

And then from Revelation 8:1 – this beautiful picture is painted: “When the Lamb opened the seventh seal there was silence in heaven for about a half an hour”.

Silence – something we rarely experience. I remember one time in high school I went with some friends to the Smoky Mountains. There, for some reason, I found myself alone – and I sat on the hill against a tree and looked out at this incredible beauty – the mist rising, the blue-gray color of distant mountain, the smell of fresh air. It was glorious. Yet even the beauty didn’t keep me from feeling lonely. But I was transformed just a few minutes later. I noticed the silence. Absolutely no noise of human life – no cars, no talking, no trains in the distance. I didn’t even hear the normal sounds of birds, or leaves rustling, or animals scurrying. It was the most quiet I had ever been around. In that stillness I felt great peace – all high school angst at being alone gone.

How many places are left with that kind of quiet – but I feel like if I could keep faith with that silence, I would know my place. I would not strive to be the smartest, the fastest, the most…(anything).

“In reality, true, good silence always belongs to someone who is willing to let others have his place, and especially the Completely-Other, God. In contrast, external noise characterizes the individual who wants to occupy an over-important place, to strut or to show off, or else who wants to fill his interior emptiness, as is the case in many stores and public facilities, and also particularly in the waiting rooms of some dentists, hairdressers…, where they impose incessant background music on you”.
Internet article – unknown.

In the brief time I have committed to this practice – I have been so aware of just how often I seek place, or recognition or superiority. In conversation with someone who is sharing a story, I am already moving ahead looking for my own story that matches theirs. Now friends, I am not at all encouraging self-analysis or what Leanne Payne called the disease of introspection. I want to be aware of how deeply God is calling me to this, and I can only do that as I listen to Him. His voice exhorts, but it exhorts with the utmost love and patience. Silence is such a gift – one that grants us, as well as those around us – peace and stillness. When we are not distracted by our own noise and can really listen to those we are in conversation with, it is transformative.

“The fruit of silence is prayer…Jesus is always waiting for us in silence. In this silence he listens to us and speaks to our souls…And then we will hear his voice…In this silence, we find a new energy and a real unity” (St. Teresa).

Here are some questions that might help direct this practice if you decide that this is something God is calling you to:

Do I spend any time in silence each day?
Do I seek out silence? Or do I fill in any opportunity for quiet time with noise instead?
Do I turn on music in the car when I could drive in silence for a while?
Do I speak when words are unnecessary?
Do I seek that place of deep quiet just sitting in God’s presence?

Perhaps for some of us – silence is not just something we’ve rarely thought about. It can be a trigger for anxiety. It could be that the dread of it is part of our emotional or psychological or even spiritual defenses. So, I ask you to be gentle with yourself, and do what God is calling you to. In any attempt you make to do this, ask Him for His peace and healing word. We are not looking to be heroes in the spiritual arena. Let this be a reminder to you that any practice you are being drawn to should be made out of a sense of what God is calling you to. Remember as well that God is with you, He is in you, and He is forming Christ in you.

Another complementary practice to silence could be finding ways to honor or defer to others, in words or deeds. Especially in our relationship with God, we can find ways to honor Him. We can honor Him as Job did, ²¹ “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” ²²In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong” (Job 1:21-22 ESV).

¹⁴If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. ¹⁵ Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place. ¹⁶ I have chosen and consecrated this temple so that my Name may be there forever. My eyes and my heart will always be there. (2Ch 7:14-16).

Holy Father, as we long to express our repentance through humility, may we be quiet, even silent before You. Enlarge our hearts, dear Holy Spirit, that there might be great space there to dwell in the quiet places. Make our silences be a way to deepen humility in us, and may we rightly honor you and others, in the same way Your Son and our Savior Jesus did. Amen.