Spiritual Practices

Confessional Prayer – Holy Week

Friends, as we approach Good Friday it’s appropriate that we take time to ask God to search our hearts, “to see if there is any offensive way in us, and to lead us in the way everlasting (Psa 139). May God grant us discernment, compunction, and contrition as we make our way to Calvary. What a tragic yet glorious phenomenon. We do not have to beat ourselves up, we don’t have to dissect our lives so that we might feel bad enough to think about Christ’s crucifixion. How can it be, that He became sin for us that we might become the righteousness of God? Today, tonight, as we sit quietly in His presence, may the Holy Spirit bring to our hearts those sins we long to lay down. I have been cranky, and judgmental, and angry when things did not go my way today. Those sins and so much more I long to be cleansed of. I long to see the “power of the Cross” work its way into my heart. As long as He is nailed to that cross – may our sins be thrown onto Him. Can we release to Him our shame? Our wounds? Our suffering? Of course, we know that He died once, once and for all – but may we, this day, take into our hearts the reality of His suffering and His death.

Begin by centering your heart in God’s presence… Give thanks to Him that you do not need to hide anything from him. Affirm that He is faithful and good, and his mercy and grace are “new every morning.” The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness” (Lam. 3:22-23).

Now let him begin the process of searching your heart. What is the Holy Spirit revealing to you? Is there anger in your heart? Bitterness? Unforgiveness? Pride? Take time to let the Spirit help you be specific about your sin. How have you not honored God this week? Know that “the grace of God prepares the way for the confession of sin” (Rutledge).

Then, simply confess in as specific a way you can the sins that trouble you. Don’t rush through this process. Simply rest in God’s presence as He does this. Keep before you the Cross and what Christ has done for you. You may want to hold a cross, or a crucifix in your hand as you confess.

Now choose to let this go and receive Christ’s forgiveness for you. Remember – “He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

And finally commit this confession to the Lord. As you rest in his forgiveness ask him how to walk this out. Ask for the supernatural power of His Spirit to give you what you need to move forward. Thank him that you “have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer [you] who live, but Christ lives in [you]” (Gal. 2:20).

Almighty and everlasting God, you hate nothing you have made and forgive the sins of all who are penitent: Create and make in me a new and contrite heart that I, worthily lamenting my sins and acknowledging my wretchedness, may obtain of you, the God of all mercy, perfect remission and forgiveness; through Jesus Christ, our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever. Book of Common Prayer.

The Power of the Cross – Sovereign Grace Music

Holy Week Lectio Divina

Friends, there is so much to consider in Holy Week. It’s a dramatic week and the events pass by so quickly! I feel inclined to take our time this week to consider Good Friday (and then Resurrection Sunday) so I might not write about Maundy Thursday – the Passover meal Christ shared with the disciples and his vigil in Gethsemane. I’m very torn about this and might change my mind!

I’ve written about this before, but I want to put it before you again. Paul took all of what happened in the life of Christ and then of course in the disciples’ lives and made it theology. As I said before, he went even further than that. The Cross, the Resurrection, baptism, death and life became a language of sanctification – it became for us who follow Christ – a way of life. And it wasn’t just Paul. You see this in Peter and other writers of the epistles.

My sense is that it would be worth our time reading reflectively these passages I’m including that use that language, especially as we approach Good Friday. How was our old self crucified? How is it that in Christ we are now the righteousness of Christ? What is it about His crucifixion that made that a reality? What does it mean that our sins were nailed to the cross?

I think as well, it would be good to read all four Gospel accounts of the crucifixion. If you read them side by side, you’ll see the way each writer brought his own personal perspective to it. Spoiler – Luke’s account made me think of Christmas!

Lord, may Your Word go down deep in us. I’ve included a song called “Show Us Christ” which might be good to listen to before reading the Scriptures.

Rom 6:3-7 – ³ Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? ⁴ Therefore we have been buried with him by baptism into death, so that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life. ⁵ For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. ⁶ We know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be destroyed, and we might no longer be enslaved to sin. ⁷ For whoever has died is freed from sin. (NRS)

2Co 5:21- ²¹ For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (NRS)

Col 2: 13-14 – ¹³ And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, ¹⁴ by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.

Step One – Read the passage slowly, attentively. Allow yourself to be taken in by the words – pay attention to any word or phrase that strikes you in the passage. (If you haven’t studied this passage, you may find this first reading will stir observation questions in you – such as who, what when, where, how).

Step Two – Read it again. Meditate and reflect on the passage. What is it in your life that needs to hear that word or phrase? Sit in silence for a time, attending to the thoughts, images and impressions that begin to come to you. Turn that into prayer.

Step Three – What is God saying to you? What do you begin to feel called to?

Step Four – How does God want you to live this passage out? What are you resolved to do?

Lectio Quote

Friends, please forgive the length of the second quote! But what a quote. If you can, take some time this week and read this out loud. Have someone else read it to you. And let its truth sink deep into your soul as you prepare for Good Friday. (The first quote is also so very good!)

The Cross is the abyss of wonders, the center of desires, the school of virtues, the house of wisdom, the throne of love, the theatre of joys, and the place of sorrows; It is the root of happiness, and the gate of Heaven.
Thomas Traherne

Of all the things in Heaven and Earth it [the Cross] is the most peculiar. It is the most exalted of all objects. It is a sign lifted up for all nations, to it shall the Gentiles seek, His rest shall be glorious: the dispersed of Judah shall be gathered together to it, from the four corners of the earth. If Love be the weight of the Soul, and its object the center, all eyes and hearts may convert and turn unto this Object: cleave unto this center, and by it enter into rest. There we might see all nations assembled with their eyes and hearts upon it. There we may see God’s goodness, wisdom, and power: yea His mercy and anger displayed. There we may see man’s sin and infinite value. His hope and fear, his misery and happiness. There we might see the Rock of Ages, and the Joys of Heaven. There we may see a Man loving all the world, and a God dying for mankind. There we may see all types and ceremonies, figures, and prophecies. And all kingdoms adoring a criminal: An innocent criminal, yet the greatest in the world. There we may see the most distant things in Eternity united: all mysteries at once couched together and explained. The only reason why this Glorious Object is so publicly admired by Churches and Kingdoms, and so little thought of by particular men, is because it is truly the most glorious: It is the Rock of Comforts and the Fountain of Joys. It is the only supreme and sovereign spectacle in all Worlds. It is a Well of Life beneath in which we may see the face of Heaven above: and the only mirror, wherein all things appear in their proper colors: that is, sprinkled in the blood of our Lord and Savior. (Traherne)

The Lord’s Prayer in Lent – Temptation

A word on temptation. In the New Testament we find the same word used in Greek for both temptation and testing in several passages, although there are other verses/passages that use a different word altogether. In the Lord’s Prayer, we find that what is translated as temptation could more likely mean “tested”. In fact, the New Revised Standard translation translates this verse as – “And do not bring us to the time of trial but rescue us from the evil one.” (Mat 6:13 NRS) (I like that!)

James 1:13 – ‘When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone.’ This is the same word used in Matthew 6:13. But in John 6:5-6, the same Greek word is used as in both the Matthew and James passages, but it’s translated as test. – ⁵ When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward him, he said to Philip, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?” ⁶He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do.”

Some scholars say the best way to translate it as either test or tempt is to look at the context. I’m not sure why the more recent translations of the Bible (like the NIV or the ESV) use the English word, temptation. One other thing to note here is that the NET Bible, like the NRS personifies evil – “deliver us from the evil one.” *

There is another passage which uses this word and it’s found in Matthew and Mark in the garden of Gethsemane. In Mark it reads: ³⁸ Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Mar 14:38 ESV) It is also interesting to note that Jesus, in one sense, is asking the Father to not test him in the trial to come (two verses just prior to this – v. 36 of Mark 14). But He says, “Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

Our Father, who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come; thy will be done.
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day, our daily bread,
And forgive us our sins,
As we forgive those who have sinned against us.
And lead us not into temptation.
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, and the power,
And the glory, forever. Amen.

We pray to you, Father, as Your Son has instructed us to pray – You have called us your children and have given us the right to call you Abba. You, with the Son and the Spirit alone are holy. May we truly worship Your holy name. Abba, we pray, especially in times of temptation, that your kingdom would come, and that Your will alone would be done. Feed us with the rich sustenance of Your Word and Your presence and thus give us what we need to stand in the face of temptation. Do not bring us to the time of trial but deliver us from evil and keep far from us the snares of the evil one. We are eternally grateful for Your kingdom and Your power and Your glory! May You reign for all time!

* NRS – New Revised Standard, ESV-English Standard Version, NIV- New International Version, and NET – New English Translation.

Confessional Sin and Temptation

A word here about confessing sin. We know of course that we can simply bring our sins to Him, and He forgives us. Yet there is power in praying with others and confessing to God in the presence of another. There can be divine objectivity in having others pray with us. They might have a word, or a picture of what God is doing. Sometimes, just having another person witnessing our confession is healing in itself!

Now let him begin the process of searching your heart. Are there particular temptations that are really difficult to withstand? Have you given in to sin and now want to confess that?

Simply confess in as specific a way you can the sin. Don’t rush through this process. Simply rest in God’s presence as He does this.

Now choose to let this go and receive Christ’s forgiveness for you. Remember – “He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

Receive His assurance of pardon – ⁸ The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. ⁹ He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. ¹⁰ He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. ¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; ¹² as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. (Psa 103:8-12 ESV)

And finally commit this confession to the Lord. As you rest in his forgiveness ask him how to walk this out. Is God asking you to do anything in regard to your struggles with temptation? Ask for the supernatural power of His Spirit to give you what you need to move forward. Thank him that you “have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer [you] who live, but Christ lives in [you]” (Gal. 2:20).

Lectio Divina – The Scriptures and Temptation

Hebrews 4:15-16 – ¹⁵ For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. ¹⁶ Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need (ESV).

Step Three – What is God saying to you? What do you begin to feel called to?

Step Four – How does God want you to live this passage out? What are you resolved to do?

Lectio Quote

“Hence the importance of patience in the New Testament, which becomes the basic constituent of Christianity, more central even than humility: the power to wait, to persevere, to hold out, to endure to the end, not to transcend one’s own limitations, not to force issues by playing the hero or the titan, but to practice the virtue that lies beyond heroism, the meekness of the Lamb which is led”. Hans von Balthazar

You can go through the same steps that we use for Lectio Divina for Scripture, or simply take some time and read this quote slowly and ask the Spirit to give you insight on the place of perseverance and patience in dealing with temptation.

The Lord’s Prayer in Lent – Forgiving Others

As I thought and prayed about this week’s Lord’s Prayer, I felt that as we think about forgiving others, we would do well to sit for a time, and let the Holy Spirit reveal the Father to us. We need to let the words of Jesus from John 17:6 go deep into our bones. “I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me, and they have obeyed your word.” A little further on He says “I pray… that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me, and I am in you. May they also be in us that the world may believe that you have sent me.” (17:21).

Our unity with others is rooted in the Father’s oneness with Christ, and They share that oneness with us.

We thank thee that we have a father, and not a maker; that thou hast begotten us, and not molded us as images of clay; that we have come forth of thy heart and have not been fashioned by thy hands. It must be so. Only the heart of a father is able to create. We rejoice in it and bless thee that we know it. We thank thee for thyself. Be what thou art — our root and life, our beginning and end, our all in all. Come home to us. Thou livest; therefore, we live. In thy light we see. Thou art — that is all our song.
George MacDonald

This quote from George MacDonald is so healing; so incredible. I even find it holy. How many of us did not have earthly fathers like MacDonald describes his Father in heaven? Yet Christ reveals Him to us, and we make our home with Them.

From that place, (the place of oneness we share with the Father and the Son), we are given what we need to forgive. So, take some time and listen to this recording of Andrea Bocelli singing The Lord’s Prayer. Then take any unforgiveness or bitterness or hardness of heart to your Heavenly Father, and receive the grace and freedom Christ has bought through His finished work on the Cross.

Confessional Prayer – Forgiving Others

Mirslov Volf wrote, “Forgiveness flounders because I exclude my enemy from the community of humans, and I exclude myself from the community of sinners.”

Now let Him begin the process of searching your heart. Are there people in your life you struggle to forgive? What stands in the way of forgiving them?

Then, simply confess in as specific a way you can the sin, or unforgiveness that troubles you. Don’t rush through this process. Simply rest in God’s presence as He does this.

Now choose with God’s help to forgive them. See them in the presence of God. Ask God for Hi s mercy to fall on them. Receive Christ’s forgiveness for you. Remember – “He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9)

Receive His assurance of pardon – ⁷ In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, ⁸ which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight ⁹ making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ . (Eph 1:7-9 ESV)

And finally commit this confession to the Lord. As you rest in his forgiveness ask him how to walk this out. Is God asking you to do anything in regard to your forgiving the one who sinned against you? Ask for the supernatural power of His Spirit to give you what you need to move forward. Thank him that you “have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer [you] who live, but Christ lives in [you]” (Gal. 2:20).

Lectio Divina: Matthew 5:38-45

³⁸ “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ ³⁹ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. ⁴⁰ And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. ⁴¹ And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. ⁴² Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you. ⁴³ “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵ so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. (ESV)

Step Two – Read it again. Meditate and reflect on the passage. What is it in your life that needs to hear that word or phrase? This is an incredibly challenging passage. Sit in silence for a time, attending to the thoughts, images and impressions that begin to come to you. Turn that into prayer. Who do you think of when you think of your enemy? Where have you struggled to forgive or to love your enemy? – commit that to God.

Step Three – What is God saying to you? What do you begin to feel called to?

Step Four – How does God want you to live this passage out? What are you resolved to do? Is there more forgiveness work that needs to be done? What does going the extra mile look like for you? What does loving your enemy look like?

Lectio Quote: Forgiveness

The triumph of sin, the main sign of its rule over the world, is division, opposition, separation, hatred. Therefore, the first break through this fortress of sin is forgiveness: the return to unity, solidarity, love. To forgive is to put between me and my “enemy” the radiant forgiveness of God himself. To forgive is to reject the hopeless “dead-ends” of human relations and to refer them to Christ. Forgiveness is truly a “breakthrough” of the kingdom into this sinful and fallen world. (Great Lent, p. 27)

You can go through the same steps that we use for Lectio Divina for Scripture, or simply take some time and read this quote slowly and seek the Holy Spirit’s help to press into this word on forgiveness.

Love of Another Kind

We are completing our picture of repentance with a word on the last desire or virtue from the last Sunday pre-Lent. Forgiveness is the virtue – and one way of seeing it is as the desire to lay down our arms; to make a cease-fire; to turn the other cheek, to bless and honor our enemies. While what I’ve read of these preparations for Lent haven’t grouped them in any hierarchal order, they do seem to build one on the other.

If our first foray into repentance and preparation is a desire and hunger for God and His righteousness, then what follows in respect to the second desire makes sense. We long to be what God calls us to be, we thirst for His presence and His righteousness. We take our rightful place in relationship with Him and as a result in right relationship with each other. We accept that our repentance will carry with it the virtue of humility. And then from that place we know that we must make our way home from the far country of our sins. Repentance then takes on the deep desire to go home, to make peace with our Father and leave behind all that was destined to ruin us. Contrition is the virtue and regular confession of sin is the practice that keeps that repentance fresh and rich.

The fourth desire is love – the kind of love that shows mercy – not just occasional mercy but steadfast mercy, steadfast love. The Old Testament calls this “hesed” – and when attributed to God it reveals itself in faithful, long enduring, loyal mercy and steadfast love and goodness. Here mercy is not the opposite of justice, it is the pouring out of our lives in service to others because we want to be like Jesus, and because we want to give back to him what He has so generously given to us. Thomas Hopko says that “having mercy is God’s most distinguishing characteristic. Pouring out His mercy, His steadfast love, upon His covenanted people is His main characteristic (The Lenten Spring, p. 62). It’s easy to see how this virtue follows the others – we hunger for God’s righteousness, which means we accept our place in relationship with Him, and we long to live contrite and holy lives. Our reach then extends beyond our love of Him and goes out toward our neighbors and beyond.

The fifth desire signals a movement toward a radical place in relationship to others. This picture of repentance is truly “love of another kind.” Forgiveness. That’s it. One word. But probably the hardest thing we will ever do (or have ever done). I’m not talking about offering the olive branch of peace to someone who has owned his/her debt. I’m not talking about being able to forgive because we know they didn’t really mean it. I’m not talking about uneasy truces. I’m talking about a way of life that is absolutely impossible without the grace of God, without the power of Christ within. Every one of us will probably have at least one enemy – they might even be a beloved enemy. But we live not only in a broken world, we also live in a world where debts are held onto, where anger seethes beneath the surface, and bitterness carries the day. We might be able to clean up the way we talk to our enemies, but unless we intentionally lay down our arms, we will not know this “love of another kind.”

C.S. Lewis spent much of his life wrestling with forgiving others. He wrote in a letter shortly before he died, that he had finally forgiven a cruel schoolteacher from his early years. I’ve often wondered about the passage in Matthew 18 about forgiving someone 70 x 7 times. I used to think it meant that the one who sinned against me did so 70 x 7 times and each time I was supposed to forgive them. But in my own journey of healing, I have realized that it’s very possible I am called to forgive the same sin over again. I hope you know I’m not talking about being afraid we haven’t forgiven – I’m talking about the layers of unforgiveness that I may have harbored without even knowing I’ve done so.

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Matthew 18:21-22 (ESV)

Lewis says this: “To be Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. This is hard. It is perhaps not so hard to forgive a single great injury. But to forgive the incessant provocations of daily life- to keep on forgiving the bossy mother-in-law, the bullying husband, the nagging wife… how can we do it? Only I think, by remembering where we stand, by meaning our words when we say in our prayers each night ‘forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us.’”

I find it interesting that the only sin mentioned in the Lord’s prayer is the sin of unforgiveness. Our capacity to receive God’s forgiveness is directly related to our capacity to release and forgive our enemies. Unforgiveness is ugly – and we really don’t want to see that kind of ugliness in ourselves. There is one person in my life (well there are probably more, but one sounds like I’m an ok person) that I struggle to forgive. I know I still struggle because when they are mentioned in conversation, I get a little excited when I hear bad things about them. Ugh.

Forgiveness is love of another kind. There are sins so grievous that there is no way we can forgive without the power of the Holy Spirit. Many of us won’t know or experience that kind of evil. But most of us have had people in our lives who turned their backs on us, slandered us, held grudges, or even envied us. There is a part of the Sermon on the Mount that is so hard to read, much less put into practice. For me, I would rather read verses about God’s love for me, like John 3:16. But… Jesus says: ³⁹ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. ⁴⁰ And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. ⁴¹ And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. ⁴² Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you. ⁴³ “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵ so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. (Mat 5: 39-45 ESV)

I would say that this kind of love – this unqualified forgiveness is the pinnacle of repentance. It completes the cycle. If repentance is a jewel, fashioned by God and our obedience, then these five desires reflect significant facets of that jewel. I want to be that kind of person – one willing to yield to the work of God in my heart and in my life that shines forth the kind of repentance that attracts others. Will you join me?

All the things: Mercy and Shame, Contrition and Grace

Today, I am supposed to be writing about the fourth desire in repentance – and that is the desire to be in right relationship to “the other”. This could be about lots of different people – but I think the key is that “the other” – is simply another human person. They are not me.

This is what Schmemann says about the “other”. “Christian love is the “possible impossibility” to see Christ in another man, whoever he is, and whom God, in his eternal and mysterious plan, has decided to introduce into my life, be it only for a few moments, not as an occasion for a “good deed” or an exercise in philanthropy, but as the beginning of an eternal companionship in God himself. For, indeed, what is love if not that mysterious power which transcends the accidental and the external in the “other” – his physical appearance, social rank, ethnic origin, intellectual capacity – and reaches the soul, the unique and uniquely personal “root” of a human being, truly the part of God in him?” (GL: p.23)

This desire is the virtue of love and the story is the story of the Last Judgment, (Mat. 25:31-46) where Jesus talks to two different groups of people about how they fed him or didn’t feed him, gave him drink, or not give them drink. He goes on in great detail – I was a stranger – I was naked, and I was sick, and I was in prison… And he says to the first group – you did this when you did it to the least of these… and to the other group – you did not do any of these things to me because you turned your heart and your words and your actions away from the least of these.

Today, I had lunch with my daughter and my grandsons, and we went to a restaurant we all really like. The service was horrible – I mean we waited over an hour for our food. I was disgusted, wanted to leave, wanted to somehow let the wait staff know just how bad they were at their job. We finally left and I took most of my lunch with me (as some act that might make him feel bad??). I left a really bad tip. I came home and complained to my husband, and felt pretty justified with my contempt for this really bad waiter. And then I sit down to write about repentance and mercy and love. If it weren’t for this particular story being linked to this facet of repentance, I could really concentrate on finding good things to do for people who need good things. I like showing mercy. But I missed the forest for the tree. I missed the opportunity to show Christ to another person – obviously to the waiter, but then of course to my daughter or my grandsons. Ugh.

Ironically, this ties in with the third desire or virtue which is the longing to go home, to turn back from the far country of sin, and make our way back – expecting to do penance; not expecting at all the almost embarrassing love of the Father – the lavish, generous, underserved love of our Father. The virtue that this desire points to is contrition – “which conveys a steady attitude of awareness of one’s frailty and wrongdoing before God” (psaltermark.com). And for me, today, it went deeper – to an old-fashioned word – compunction. Compunction is described as a sudden sense of shame linked to wrongdoing. It’s an experience that “cuts to the heart”. As I sat down to write – what I did today reared its ugly head and I saw my sin for what it was – not merely a missed opportunity to show grace, but a failing that made me miss seeing Jesus as the recipient of that mercy and grace.

I hesitate to even write this out because it’s so fresh that I don’t want to use it as an example in a “sermon” on mercy. I also am afraid that you, the reader, might feel bad for me (maybe I’m projecting, but if any of you would recount this experience to me, I would right away want you not to feel bad!) One of the ways we can grow in this virtue of contrition and the practice of confession – is to let each other confess, feel bad, feel guilt, and not rush in to rescue. It’s up to us if we are called to hear someone else’s confession to encourage the right kinds of guilt and discourage any deep shame that just never lets up. That is pride, and the Cross is God’s response to that kind of pride.

Our solidarity with each other allows us to truly confess and receive what Christ has done for us on the Cross. Thomas Hopko writes that “confession ‘springs from an awareness of what is holy; it means dying to sin and coming alive again to sanctity’. It expresses itself in the ‘oral confession of sins,’ accomplished ‘with precision, without veiling the ugliness of sin by vague expressions.’ It is fulfilled in the resolution never to sin again, although realizing that we will fall because we are not God. It is sealed by our subsequent sufferings to remain steadfast in our struggle against sin. Such confession is at the heart of our spiritual efforts, especially during the lenten spring. (The Lenten Spring, Thomas Hopko, p. 55-56. Hopko is quoting a Father Elchaninov and you see his words in the single quote marks).

So many emotions today. From disgust to a blatant disregard for the “other”, to compunction to contrition to confession to receiving God’s grace. Remember what Fleming Rutledge said about confession: “The grace of God prepares the way for the confession of sin, is present in the confession, and even before the confession has been made, has already worked the restoration of which the confession is not the cause but the sign” (The Crucifixion, p. 204).

Alexander Schmemann calls Lent the season of bright sadness – in part because in Lent as we become more practiced in repentance and we learn we do not have to fear our brokenness and sin, we can receive this season as a season of great joy. Amen.