We are completing our picture of repentance with a word on the last desire or virtue from the last Sunday pre-Lent. Forgiveness is the virtue – and one way of seeing it is as the desire to lay down our arms; to make a cease-fire; to turn the other cheek, to bless and honor our enemies. While what I’ve read of these preparations for Lent haven’t grouped them in any hierarchal order, they do seem to build one on the other.
If our first foray into repentance and preparation is a desire and hunger for God and His righteousness, then what follows in respect to the second desire makes sense. We long to be what God calls us to be, we thirst for His presence and His righteousness. We take our rightful place in relationship with Him and as a result in right relationship with each other. We accept that our repentance will carry with it the virtue of humility. And then from that place we know that we must make our way home from the far country of our sins. Repentance then takes on the deep desire to go home, to make peace with our Father and leave behind all that was destined to ruin us. Contrition is the virtue and regular confession of sin is the practice that keeps that repentance fresh and rich.
The fourth desire is love – the kind of love that shows mercy – not just occasional mercy but steadfast mercy, steadfast love. The Old Testament calls this “hesed” – and when attributed to God it reveals itself in faithful, long enduring, loyal mercy and steadfast love and goodness. Here mercy is not the opposite of justice, it is the pouring out of our lives in service to others because we want to be like Jesus, and because we want to give back to him what He has so generously given to us. Thomas Hopko says that “having mercy is God’s most distinguishing characteristic. Pouring out His mercy, His steadfast love, upon His covenanted people is His main characteristic (The Lenten Spring, p. 62). It’s easy to see how this virtue follows the others – we hunger for God’s righteousness, which means we accept our place in relationship with Him, and we long to live contrite and holy lives. Our reach then extends beyond our love of Him and goes out toward our neighbors and beyond.
The fifth desire signals a movement toward a radical place in relationship to others. This picture of repentance is truly “love of another kind.” Forgiveness. That’s it. One word. But probably the hardest thing we will ever do (or have ever done). I’m not talking about offering the olive branch of peace to someone who has owned his/her debt. I’m not talking about being able to forgive because we know they didn’t really mean it. I’m not talking about uneasy truces. I’m talking about a way of life that is absolutely impossible without the grace of God, without the power of Christ within. Every one of us will probably have at least one enemy – they might even be a beloved enemy. But we live not only in a broken world, we also live in a world where debts are held onto, where anger seethes beneath the surface, and bitterness carries the day. We might be able to clean up the way we talk to our enemies, but unless we intentionally lay down our arms, we will not know this “love of another kind.”
C.S. Lewis spent much of his life wrestling with forgiving others. He wrote in a letter shortly before he died, that he had finally forgiven a cruel schoolteacher from his early years. I’ve often wondered about the passage in Matthew 18 about forgiving someone 70 x 7 times. I used to think it meant that the one who sinned against me did so 70 x 7 times and each time I was supposed to forgive them. But in my own journey of healing, I have realized that it’s very possible I am called to forgive the same sin over again. I hope you know I’m not talking about being afraid we haven’t forgiven – I’m talking about the layers of unforgiveness that I may have harbored without even knowing I’ve done so.
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Matthew 18:21-22 (ESV)
Lewis says this: “To be Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. This is hard. It is perhaps not so hard to forgive a single great injury. But to forgive the incessant provocations of daily life- to keep on forgiving the bossy mother-in-law, the bullying husband, the nagging wife… how can we do it? Only I think, by remembering where we stand, by meaning our words when we say in our prayers each night ‘forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us.’”
I find it interesting that the only sin mentioned in the Lord’s prayer is the sin of unforgiveness. Our capacity to receive God’s forgiveness is directly related to our capacity to release and forgive our enemies. Unforgiveness is ugly – and we really don’t want to see that kind of ugliness in ourselves. There is one person in my life (well there are probably more, but one sounds like I’m an ok person) that I struggle to forgive. I know I still struggle because when they are mentioned in conversation, I get a little excited when I hear bad things about them. Ugh.
Forgiveness is love of another kind. There are sins so grievous that there is no way we can forgive without the power of the Holy Spirit. Many of us won’t know or experience that kind of evil. But most of us have had people in our lives who turned their backs on us, slandered us, held grudges, or even envied us. There is a part of the Sermon on the Mount that is so hard to read, much less put into practice. For me, I would rather read verses about God’s love for me, like John 3:16. But… Jesus says: 39 But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41 And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42 Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you. 43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. (Mat 5: 39-45 ESV)
I would say that this kind of love – this unqualified forgiveness is the pinnacle of repentance. It completes the cycle. If repentance is a jewel, fashioned by God and our obedience, then these five desires reflect significant facets of that jewel. I want to be that kind of person – one willing to yield to the work of God in my heart and in my life that shines forth the kind of repentance that attracts others. Will you join me?